spun glass

it wasn't just you
i chose to exclude,
even though, you were,
just that special.

it was everyone,
i chose to un-choose,
in all ways, always
keeping the world
at bay, not beck,
arm's out-stretched
an equal distance,
on either side,
guard-up walls
of invisible mending,
transparent as glass,
but blown tight. 

this grand dismissal
did not include
my daughters,
or their children,
animals in our care,
surrogate  offspring,
my brothers,
aged relatives,
or characters allowed,
free passage,
locked between
the pages of books. 

but it did include you,
in black-balled ink,
even though, you were,
just that special.

i wonder now,
in all my silence,
year upon year,
built over the miles,
do you still hear
the repetitive beats
of my heart-speak,
echoing your name,
my arms yet
wide-spread,
but this time
in eagle-dance
preparing to fly?

                                                                            ... to you.