I think your poem would be better if you can make the second half of the first line be a 2nd line for this poem.
I think your poem was quite good, it rhymes, right up to almost the last two lines. However, you have somehow lost the rhyme scheme on the last 2 lines, perhaps a little re-work can make this a perfect rhyming poem.
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I think your poem would be better if you can make the second half of the first line be a 2nd line for this poem.
I think your poem was quite good, it rhymes, right up to almost the last two lines. However, you have somehow lost the rhyme scheme on the last 2 lines, perhaps a little re-work can make this a perfect rhyming poem.
Just my humble opinion.
Thank you for posting and sharing.
Sandie Angel :o)