a short fiction story in the form of poetry

Chapter 8
3:30 am

the bed grows cold
grows large
around me
i feel consumed by the emptiness
i hear the toilet flush
you come back into the room
you are standing over me
kneeling next to me
you push hair out of my face
i open my eyes slowly
you smile when you see me
you whisper that i left the light on
lean forward and kiss my forehead
when you pull away i close my eyes
when i open them
your green one’s are confused
i try a smile
it doesn’t fit my face
you kiss me once more
i kiss you back
knowing, remembering,
tasting how this one feels
you turn the light off
and i lose sight of you

in the one weekend
the weekend you came home
you had a fight with your mom
over the phone
you yelled at her
i didn't know what to do
when you hung up
you looked at the wall
placed one tense hand
against the chair rail
i could see the tendons in your arm
you wanted to break something
i said something
the wrong thing
i don't remember what it was
just, the wrong thing
and you blew up at me
you said that you were sick of it
sick of taking care of her
of me
you just wanted to have a life
you didn't want to be a caretaker
while you were yelling
you grabbed my arm
i wasn't frightened
just mad at you for yelling
my brother walked in
saw what was going on
threw you out
told you only to come back
if you had cooled off
you left a bruise on my arm
i went to bed crying
missing you
wanting you to come back
but you were spending your nights
with your aunt
you were probably asleep
hating me
there
somewhere in time
before the sun came up
you woke me
you had been crying
i don't know how long for
you talked to me
rattled off explanations
wanted forgiveness
was afraid it wouldn't come
you saw the bruise on my arm
and sobbed even more
i kissed you
told you i loved you
forgave you
i spent the rest of the night
in your arms
that was the only fight
we ever had

you climb over me
gracefully
and fall into the bed
ungracefully
you wrap yourself around me
kiss my neck
and wish me a good night
i sigh and sink deeper into you
remember the kiss
the feeling of this embrace
the color of your eyes
the way your hair looked
falling in your eyes
a mess from sleep
hoping these simple memories
would bring me around
stop me from the task
hold me here
in the land of the living
i stay in this feeling
pushing the other feeling away
for as long as i can