I Missed a Dream

I missed a dream while cowering behind my fears

Just waved away the welcome wagon of success

I blew my chances many times over the years

The desire was always there, a sweet carress.

I always saw my fear as something inherently stronger

Than my talent or my love or my ability to share

It was the master of my destiny much longer

Than the belief I lately realize as I practice my good flare

The hints and sparks and glints I sometimes see

In my work can take me by surprise; and I know

There is something special there, just a peak

Now and then, among my mundane work, I glow.

Does the searing need in me that pushes

The words, the notes and colors from my head

Into the hands which get so restless

Make me a poet or songwriter, artist, or fake, instead?

I have never made much money, tho a little, once

By putting on the grid, in the universe, my mind's link

I never made a large impact like I'd hoped, a punch

So, am I still a poet, songwriter, artist, do you think?

I missed a dream while cowering behind my fears

And now I wonder if it might not be too late

I've thrown away so many chances through the years

I wonder if I've stymied my own fate.

Kathy Adams