This is what I hope is an improved version of a poem I posted under the title, Rails and Cornhusk Sheets. Or, er, something like that. Let me know what you think! Happy Autumn!! 'Pea'<3
Rails and the Clank of. . .Metal?
You've been there. You could not look,. so you stared at the pole with the tube snaking down and out. Ceiling next to fascinate. Then you tried counting tiles. Sick of that, you fished for jokes that you might not make hash out of. Oldie with a point neither sharp nor blunt. When he (/when she) appears to notice you don't look, you look, and wish you hadn't. Pallor almost green. Bent-necked straw looks fatter. Say something, you tell yourself. Come up with something, long as it is nothing. Nothing that will aggravate the condition MD's are so fond of. Discomfort, my eye. Do. Re-read the cards on the all. Hearts, flowers, and basket case yuks. Look the Look that kneels and prays without looking like Death. Stop. More cards have been puttied behind the bed. Rag him (/rag her) about roses the color of a penis that are salted with the tears of a stone crocodile. Joke Who is X, f'cryin' out loud? Need another slug o' water? Burger, fries? Back in a jiff, you say. Call on my cell. Come back and straighten the mess on that stand. Plump the cornhusk- covered pillow. Cry inside. . .pray.
Bus stations and train stations make me sad for some reason. You stirred something in my soul with your verses, Phyllis. Thank you for sharing this gift. Love and peace,
Having once more on the receiving end of the images displayed in this striking write, I have seen the pain that loved ones go through as I have lain in dejected and weakened condition and their very awkwardness is a sign of their love.
Fee
Reviewed by J M (Reader)
Reviewed on September 18, 2006
OOH Phylis this si excellent I followed through as though there and kept this one.
"Come back and straighten the mess
on that stand. Plump the cornhusk-
covered pillow. Cry inside. . .pray.
Excellent Phyllis -- been in the hospital and had the same mind-ramblings to cope as you've described here so vividly. Are we all born with the same coping mechanisms, I wonder ...
Great poem.
Hugs,
CJ
I feel you on this one so deeply. How many times have I been there in the past year, I can only shudder. You did indeed capture the moment. Peace, love, and blessings. <Mikii>
This one teems with loneliness; I got the pic of being in a hospital room. Very cleverly penned, with imagery that makes the reader feel the isolation; excellent, Pea!
My book of poetry is being redone by me, I have a beautiful cover designed and the book will have a few more than 200 poems in it. I am going to have it printed on demand here in Canada. When it is done I will let you know when it is done and if anyo
Regis
Seriously - you have a unique depth here; a telling style that is more graphic than most - I like it. -- Jeff
Fee
"Come back and straighten the mess
on that stand. Plump the cornhusk-
covered pillow. Cry inside. . .pray.
"
Blessings,
Joselyn
Well done!!
Love Tinka
Great poem.
Hugs,
CJ
good write
john+
Carole
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.