When at first you don't succeed. . .??
Don't feel the point of view is clear re the lst version. Always improve, right? Or at least try.
Sure appreciate your reviews re #1. Your support means more than you can
possibly imagine.
<3 'Pea' <3
Child to Moon, Come In
Pretty is as pretty does. Every time I let it spill that the woman in the moon had cast her silver and amber-tinted spell, here it came. How stupid could I be? Didn’t I know her smile was a come-on? She was cold. She was distant. A pale milk-toast who ducked behind clouds unexcused. Not stupid, I waited for Owl’s yooo-hooo, then inched up the window by my bed and wriggled out on the roof to bend my favorite spell-caster’s ear. You listen, I mouthed in awe. I know you know, but. . .listen. Never interrupt or laugh when I stammer. All I have to do is close my eyes for you to glow. Done saying my piece – you’re good about waiting – you beam a big I Hear You down. Secrets are safe! Strumming up my courage as night shifted to turn toward morning, I ventured, Why is it you let those clouds walk all over you? Her face lit up even more. They help, she beamed. Just do what good friends do. I help them lighten up, they keep me from seeing all the sad stuff. Think you need me to let you listen, I say without words. May not be all ears, but. . . do they look like an elephant’s, or not? We laugh about it to this night. Just. . . l i s t e n.
(c) Phyllis Jean Green July 27, 2007
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Reviews of "Child to Moon, Come In {scratch no.1}"
Phillis confess I never taken the time to converse with the moon
But you have certainly captured some emotions it sounds to me
like when you find an imaginary friend
That will listen when you need to talk!
I love this it's very vivid and imaginative!!
Outstanding Piece my friend many Hugssss Love Peace and Joy...Yolie
Reviewed by Katherine Tracy (Reader)
Reviewed on July 28, 2007
Such a lovely piece of work--a poem that one feels invited into--the flow is magnificient! Kat
Phyllis, I feel the emotional part to this, we all need someone to talk to, someone we know will listen and always be there. An excellent write. Thank you for sharing.
I love the playing the moon woman does by slipping behind a cloud. Wonderful when you asked her why she let them walk all over her. Astounding. I'm glad I'm not the only one talking to the moon. lol. Excellent. Liz
Why is it
you let those clouds walk all over you?
Her face lit up even more. They help,
she beamed. Just do what good friends
do. I help them lighten up, they keep me
from seeing all the sad stuff.
Went back and read the first Child to Moon, Come In; read this one; you've improved upon perfection. I love the imagery you use, your word selection; a most beautiful, emotional r e l e a s e. Well done.
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(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Adding you to my ones to track! :)
Love Tinka
But you have certainly captured some emotions it sounds to me
like when you find an imaginary friend
That will listen when you need to talk!
I love this it's very vivid and imaginative!!
Outstanding Piece my friend many Hugssss Love Peace and Joy...Yolie
Rose
the man in the Mo0n.
Enjoyed your delightful write...
Be safe,
Karen
Those clouds are always walking
all over me, now I know why. ;)
you let those clouds walk all over you?
Her face lit up even more. They help,
she beamed. Just do what good friends
do. I help them lighten up, they keep me
from seeing all the sad stuff.
What a marvelous piece of poetry, Phyllis!!
Went back and read the first Child to Moon, Come In; read this one; you've improved upon perfection. I love the imagery you use, your word selection; a most beautiful, emotional r e l e a s e. Well done.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.