Dear Santa: All I want is something I can open
without scissors, a mallet, a crowbar, and an axe.
It is probably naughty for me to be moping,
but these, Mr. Claus, are facts:
By the time I get my medicine to uncap.
I have a sprained hand to add to my woes.
To put it bluntly, feel like crap
from my head to the unfiled nails of my toes.
You don't give out medicine,
so I doubt you care about that,
but I am hoping for a confession
that the things you give out are trapped.
What good is a CD buried in plastic?
What good is a game that stays in the box?
Wouldn't want you to do anything drastic,
but these are as much use as pet rocks.
The other day I bought an avocado.
Thought I would make a spread.
'Time I got it out, it'd rotted.
Pretty sure the other stuff is dead.
My eyes are unlined and my roots show.
Liner and hair goop are locked up tight.
Forked for tools, and what-do-you-know?
My computer is crying for more bytes!
Woe to the sadist who made things adult-proof
May his or her food remain boxed and tagged..
Santa, dear, when you land on my roof,
the chimney will be open, cookies unbagged!
(c) Phyllis Jean Green
All Rights Reserved
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Reviews of "From Desprit {gettin' a jump on Christmas}"
certainly Santa's elves do not wrap these things -- I believe that there exists a special cadre of Draconian packaging ogres that seek to destroy sensible entry into anything they wrap -- how delightful is the staid old pretty paper, pretty ribbon -- peace and love my friend -- Jon Michael
A "Shot o' humor" is SOOO welcomed, Pea! And you dished us up a platter full!! How right you are, dear friend...how right you are. Things we buy are sealed to sell, not sealed to use. Totally agree with Susan; if we hear of a comedian using this material, we'll know where it originated LOL
Blessings and Love - and Thanks! - Micke
(oh, tell your pharmicist you want ONLY flip-open tops!)
Phyllis,
A woman after my own heart, bless you for this...and I love the 'Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree for me' tone and atmosphere you create. Just great!
Thanks for the truth with a smile, Pea but don't forget those pesky jar lids that are welded on and that shrink wrapped food in the vegie section....oh my
T H E R E you are, I've missed you SO MUCH! I can relate to getting things that make getting old easier - like child proof (HA!) medicine caps and large print and CDs that are easy to open ... *sigh* Wonder if he'd deliver a new body?!?? This one, I swear is 112 years old! LOL I hear you. Think Santa will appreciate the open chimney and unbagged cookies. Know *I* would. LOL Well done, my dear!
(((((HUGS))))) and love, Karla.
So what's been happening? What's new in lovely NC?? How are YOU???C'mon, set a spell, details, please!!!! =]
Now girl, be quite and pass the turkey, the gravy, the sweet potatos, some of that fill, the cranberries, the salt and please! don't chew with the mouth open 'cause I can see what you had on Easter...
Some apple pie?
Oh boy! I am stuffed!
Good Christmas wishes, Pea; sure hope Santa delivers; however all I want is for people to remember the REAL Reason behind the Season: celebrating the Birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! Forget about commercialism, get back to the meat of why we really celebrate CHRISTmas!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
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Be always safe,
Karen
Blessings and Love - and Thanks! - Micke
(oh, tell your pharmicist you want ONLY flip-open tops!)
A woman after my own heart, bless you for this...and I love the 'Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree for me' tone and atmosphere you create. Just great!
John
Susan
Carole~
T H E R E you are, I've missed you SO MUCH! I can relate to getting things that make getting old easier - like child proof (HA!) medicine caps and large print and CDs that are easy to open ... *sigh* Wonder if he'd deliver a new body?!?? This one, I swear is 112 years old! LOL I hear you. Think Santa will appreciate the open chimney and unbagged cookies. Know *I* would. LOL Well done, my dear!
(((((HUGS))))) and love, Karla.
So what's been happening? What's new in lovely NC?? How are YOU???C'mon, set a spell, details, please!!!! =]
Some apple pie?
Oh boy! I am stuffed!
Georg
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Merry CHRISTmas Early! :D