Urban Cowboy
By Yours Truly
Local Talent

Well he was dressed in a shirt
That at best came from sears
Not a REAL cowboy shirt
That much was clear
And his blue jeans had a pocket
With a tag on the back
That said "BUGLE BOY JEANS"
Now who the hell was that ?

He had a shiny pair of boots
And a "DRESSY" lookin' hat
You know the kind you get in big stores
Like those city folks have
And a buckle so big it looked like
...The grill of a truck
With a shiny horseshoe
turned up just for luck

Well to clinch the deal
He had no spurs and no gun
You know them city boy types
Seemed to never wear one
And the room exploded with laughter
As he patted the old Bull
And said I'd take a little ride
...If that would be cool ?
HA HA HA HA HA !
"Better go back to the city {chuckle} "COWBOY"
One of them said

And we laughed real hard
While his face was turning red
Embarrassed i suppose
"YEAH you got me" he said
Well i may look like a city boy y'all
That much is clear
But i got news for you folks
I grew up right out here

Where my Mom and Daddy raised me
And where last year daddy died
So i'm taken over the ranch
Cause a Cowboy has his pride
Now we've had a good laugh
But ALL bullshit aside
I got a hundred bucks right here
There aint a cowboy i can't out ride !
...Or a cowgirl if you ladies like ?
{Respectfully tipping his hat}

A Cowboy busted out laughing
And said Imagine THAT !
This feller aint no cowboy
Just LOOK at that hat
"If i had the money city boy"
As he knocked on wood
...
City looked him up and down
And said "Your credit is good"!

I could use some extra hands
For a while at the ranch
And so those a you who lose
When we dance this little dance
I expect a cowboys honor
MAN to MAN {or Woman}
To show up for a couple days
And lend me a hand

...OKAY THAN !...I'm in...ME TOO
Yeah Fire up old "TORNADO" Gus !
{Gus} Remember Y'all
Nearest Hospital is thirty miles!
.......
...

And just to be fair
I'll be the first to take a fall
Else i'll ride for my time
We'll let the Bull make that call
Will you set it to "3" Gus ?
"NO AMATUERS HERE"
But before i take my ride
Could i get me a beer {Throat was dry}
"On the House City Boy"
GOOD LUCK !
{Yeah city hope you can turn that buckle over
Cause you about to run outta luck}
{The end with the horns is the front City}

Well he stood there a while
And sipped on his beer
Than he said "Is everyone in"
Who wants to "RIDE" the Bull here
...Than it got really quiet
As with a devilish grin
He said "LEt's cut the crap here Cowboys...GUS"!
Turn it up to "10" !
WHOA THERE CITY !
{OOOOOOH the crowd went "Holy shit" another one said}
{Gus} I DON'T KNOW...CITY ?
{He won't do it a cowboy snorted}
...Well i think it fair to warn
THAT BULL will wipe your grin
There aint no one ever rode "TORNADO"
Turned all the way up to "10" !
.......
Cept this kid i once knew
....
And last year ....His
PAPPY... died
Is that you "JOHNNY" ?
As he jumped on and said "Let's RIDE" !
{Yer a dead man city}
One of them cried

Well it bucked like a truck
And it kicked like a Mule
It was shakin' so hard
People were falling out of the stools
He just snarled and let out
A hearty YEE HAWWWW!
{Ride em CITY !}
Some Country Gal called

Well i laughed as i heard the first one
Sayin' "I QUIT" !
And than others followed suit
As they threw in their chip
By the time Tornado stopped
He just got off and said "Shit"
There aint none a you "good ol' boys"
Wanna have a go at it ?
{wink}
See ya tomorrow than
Thank you ladies an' gents

......

My name is JOHNNY MILLER
My ranch is to the south
BIG WINDMILL ,WATER TOWER
5:00 sharp boys and girls
Breakfast and coffee
WILL be waitin'
....IF yer on time
...
.
YES SIR COWBOY !
We'll be there !
{Gus i knew it was him}

Bye!

Cap'n Cowboy?

Warren Miner