Am I to fat, to thin, to dark, to light, what should I be when the day is all bright. Should I be shouting with happiness, or wailing with pain, or just being me, rather large and plain. Janine is my name, in this there’s no shame in there being, in this life-time for me, absolutely no fame.

Not being proud I scuttle around, my head hanging low, have you realized by now, I don’t want to show. I’m past middle-age, shy and with-drawn, inside myself I’m lost, incredibly forlorn. My family are gone, one cousin is left, three children, a husband, they all live in Gwent.

At one time or other we all get a chance, to bloom like a flower, maybe get that wedding cake. For me, the flower crinkled, dried up crisp, the cake just didn’t even ever exist.

Happiness was never within my grasp, I never did have a full bellow like laugh. I exist in this land, here I be, lonely and lost, why is this me.

But I know that after tonight, for me, the light will bother me no more.

I’m finished with scuttling around whilst trying to make no sound.

Goodnight…