Please Help Me! (poem) by Lisa Hilbers on AuthorsDen

Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic (Reader)

Reviewed on November 30, 2006

Definitely no 1

vesna.

Reviewed on November 3, 2006

Hello Lisa, as Elizabeth says below, both are very well written,
for me however I think the first one (My Life, My World, My Name),
was the better of the two, however that's only my oppinion,
as I said they are both very good,
thank you for sharing them.
Steve

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)

Reviewed on October 28, 2006

Lisa, both are very well written and very effective.
Gave me chills. You do good work!!!

Elizabeth

Reviewed by A PAX

Reviewed on October 24, 2006

I prefer the second, tho both are brilliant works

Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green

Reviewed on October 23, 2006

Both great, but I lean more strongly toward no.1. Having had
[way too much] experience with addiction, it reverberates in a
way that is hard to explain. Man, do I relate! SO admire your courage. Determination and honesty! Blessings Always. . .and Then,
'Pea' <3

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Reviewed on October 20, 2006

Lisa,

As the others have said they're both good but my preference has to be the first one. I think it better shares the hope and dreams that a rehabilitating addict has. It shows honor and self worth better than the second.

Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope)

Reviewed on October 19, 2006

Excellent poetry. Both are super and carry heavy messages of hope

Reviewed by jude forese

Reviewed on October 18, 2006

the message in both poems is that's there always hope ... that is what all those addicted need to believe in to help overcome their harmful compulsions ... very potent yet sensitive poems ...

Reviewed by Nordette Adams

Reviewed on October 17, 2006

I favor the first one. It had more of an emotional impact with me, Lisa. I also like the assertion at the end of the first one. It strikes me as an affirmation someone could memorize to face each day. But then so does the last stanza of the second poem. See what you've done! :-) Both poems are moving and exceptional. Your writing never disappoints. ~~Nordette

Reviewed by Edward Lupinacci

Reviewed on October 17, 2006

I go with the second one because it show more of where they are going instead of where they were. it is more uplifting and positive
with an inner strength

Reviewed by Kay P Devenish

Reviewed on October 17, 2006

I like both but tend to be drawn more to the first one(top one),I also actually think you could use them both,together.I tried (as experiment)slipping your verses from second poem inbetween the verses of top poem,one after the other,each in between,and I think it still read well,have you considered that?
Good luck with your decision I am sure you friend will like whichever one you choose as they are both very good.
Best wishes always
from
kay

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

I agree with Sherry. I too like them both, with just a slight edge for the first. Whatever you do, know it is fine poetry and very good of you to offer your help Lisa!

Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

I really love them both, Lisa, and perhaps you should allow your friend to be the one to choose since she knows the "graduates" on a more personal level. I kept waiting to see a line about being granted a second chance at this life, but perhaps that is a little too simplistic, and I would never dare to step upon your words, for they are always so graceful and clear. I like the "awakening" theme that flows through the second poem but I like the "responsibility for myself, my actions and the harm that I have inflicted upon others" theme of the first one also. I guess that I am really no help here, but choosing between two exceptional pieces is a lot like attempting to split hairs with a butter knife. Good luck to you on this project, Lisa, I am sure that no matter which one you choose, the intended message will be well received.
Take care,
Sherry

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

The first one, "My Life; My World; My Name," spoke to me the loudest. It explores what has happened, what is, what will be :-) Leaving the reader with uplifting power to help themselves. This is what is needed the most. I have known those with the pain of addiction and I continue to pray for them, knowing it is possible for anyone.

Reviewed by Felix Perry

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

Both are powerful works that really capture the spirit of addicts breaking free of their bonds. Hard top pick Lisa but if I had to chose one I would probably pick the second, just like the flow a little bit better.

Fee

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

All are exceptional, Lisa; but I really love the first one! Very well done; and congrats!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Burleson, Karen Lynn. :D

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

Fantastic stuff and in your face with no excuses like a certain Hollywood star who I used to like very much, but don't now because he is using alcoholism as an "excuse." I doubt he even is one. Good stuff.

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

Both are exceptional, Lisa; I really love the first one. It shows the path from darkness into Light. Well done, and congratulations!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by George Carroll

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

I would like to have seen Faith in God in the first poem, for without it, we cannot succeed in overcoming such a terrible addiction. My first choice is your first poem.

Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

Well, I think both are excellent poems Lisa, the first one seems to reach into the depths more, especially for those who have a melancholic personality dominant, the second is a more positive approach, that may work for many, but I feel dosent quite hit that spot where so many addicts are.
Thats my personal opinion, after having seen and been around many addicts, the majority are deeply self absorbed!
The first one, it would reach them where they are...

Other may have a differing view point.
In any case both can be used at the discretion of the counsellor, brava for your excellent work
God bless
Ch'erie

Reviewed by Joyce Hale

Reviewed on October 16, 2006

Ah Lisa, a brave, stand-against-the enemy, write! You seem to have reached into the darkness and clamored definance and faith. Well done.

Peace. Joyce