(Sometimes it gets to be excitin’)

Feudin’ a-Fussin’ and a-Fightin’

They say this didn’t happen
But I know that it’s all true
How else could they have begotten me
To say nothing of someone bad as you.

Oh for those rugged days of yesteryear
When life was cheap as whiskey
And ladies whispered in your ear
Cool words we might call frisky.

Justice was served up on the fly
A shot was heard a man would fall
His blood was splattered low and high
Mostly he was ignored by one and all.

Security was counted in heads of cattle
The more you had the less you needed it
You paid hired hands to fight your battles
And those who died paid no heed to it.

Ol’ doc handled all your medical cares
You paid him off in chickens and seeds
And those who served up steaks real rare
Got patched up faster for their kindly deeds.

The law was tied to the end of a rope
Once round your neck meant you were gonna swing
Cause the hangman knew your horoscope
Didn’t matter a bit if you could sing.

Then one day we just gave up the ghost
Laid down our guns and became mighty civil
Stopped burning a man’s house till it was toast
Then watched as his testicles began to shrivel.

Civilized we are and that’s how it is
No longer ruled by havin’ a lot of fun
Now we don’t walk outside to take a whiz
Let supply and demand to get things done.

Still we love the SOB with the fastest gun
And the moron who can’t shut up his mouth
We put them all into political office
Now that’s what I like about the South.

Not.