Lying here on the couch
I hear gentle breathing
I feel her heart dancing with mine
Her soft fur warms my chest
But it is the unconditional love that warms my heart
The illness is making her weak
But I am hoping that my love will defend against the pain

Eyes closed
Slowly mine follow suit
The smooth cloth weave of the couch
Is replaced with tickling blades of Bermuda grass

She slowly opens those bright green eyes
Yawns widely and shows her white baby teeth
The bright brown speckled nose charms me
She looks up and gives me a coarse caress
With her long pink tongue

Stretching out her slender flexible frame
Climbs down from my chest
Begins to hop around and do a ferret happy dance
Releasing squeals of appeal

I sit up and reach over to pet her head and offer a treat
Her energy is contagious and I feel my spirit rise
So I stand and together we begin to explore

She runs in circles around me
A ferret’s love of tunnels and hiding places humors me still
As we play hide and seek
The joy is healing our pain

Dreaming within a dream . . .

My wife is playing with us
Their green eyes are identical
And the sun reflects off of their amber hair
We have no children, but this young ferret is our baby girl

Suddenly the sky becomes a threatening shade of gray
Our baby falls to the ground
Labored breath and eyes glistening and foggy
I spring forward to pick her up
In the distance, I hear the hoof beats of death’s chariot
Pain creates a crack in the granite wall protecting my heart

My wife comes behind me
Tears in her eyes and knowledge furrowed in her brow
I must hurry and take our baby to the Bridge

Fear grips my soul and I look to my wife for support
She kisses us both gently and
Leads me to the path she has already traveled

I steel myself against threatening tears because I must be strong for this odyssey
My sweet ferret looks up at me and I nearly lose control
She doesn’t speak, but she knows what is happening

The sky has become a greenish brown hue
All is silent …
Then in the near distance, I hear a shrill whistle
I look and I see the funnel that the Reaper has chosen to ride in on

A sense of despair drives me forward
I don’t hear her breathing
Her heartbeat is faint
The tears I have fought overwhelm me and seep into my eyes
The cracks in my wall of protection
Widen and allow pain to stab me

She has not been with me long
I don’t want to lose her now
I fall to my knees and I hear her fighting to live
The tears escape me
They wet her fur and face
She gingerly kisses my eyes
Causing me to cry harder

A shadow looms over us
I look up ready to fight knowing it is not fair
I am selfish and refuse to give her up easily

I am expecting the Reaper to be menacing
Instead I find myself before a man
Who looks very similar to myself

He reaches out to pet her softly
He makes no effort to take her from me
She suddenly cries out and I look at her
I don’t want to give her up but I must

The man touches my shoulder
He takes her into the crook of his arm
I kneel down and kiss her good bye
She kisses me back
They turn and cross the Bridge I had failed to see

As they cross…
Her energy rises and her pain melts away
She comes back to the edge and looks at me. . .

Her look is forgiving
Her look is healing
Her look tells me that she will be waiting for me

Eric M. Croas

(In memory of the ferrets we have lost to illnesses. We love and miss you Oreo, Wicket, Brownie and Romeo)