...then I raise my head and see
the tunnel thats ahead of me.
my heart begins to race once again.

As I enter another dark tunnel,
there is blackness all around.
I have no friends to console me,
only this sadness that keeps me down.

As this emptiness engulfs my being,
no encouraging words can be found
to pull me from this madness
of which my heart is bound.

No one knows of this blackness,
around my heart it does caress.
As I enter this blackened tunnel of my life,

I am so depressed!

This fear of suicide,  to me has become so real,
though the others around me know nothing
of which I have made this deal...

...that I have made with myself
or with the one that I abhor.
because they only see the one that I adore.

...poking my head up as others pass by,

wondering why?...

..."I'm just wondering why?"


All of the heavens so far up above!
beaming with joy, happiness and love.

dare I say.... or dare I shove.
my neighbour... of whom ...I do not love!

But... I must Love!... though I can't!
...and this is why I rave and rant!

"do you still love me? or shall I fall?"....
......"could I be of the lowest of them all?"

"do you still love me? is your grace still there?
do you even really care?"

"I wish that I would and I would that I might,
through another blackened tunnel must again I fight?"

"please, please!  ....can I make it to the end?"
   

            ...[I doubt it friend]...
.  
 
                               ..."I doubt it friend"!


lowering my head as others pass by...

....................[wondering why]...............................

...I'm just wondering why...



... at the end of the tunnel there is always another tunnel...

[I wake!]

...then comes the end of this long tunnel,
I begin to see the light.
My heart begins to wake,
a smile creeps upon my face,
I can see the light of day again.

Brighter!

brighter the light shines.

I smile when I see you,
my smile is not even fake.
I try to pull myself up,
My heart I try to wake.

On bright and sunny day's I just think to myself,
how could I be so mad?
suicide is so selfish, so bad!

I hide the noose that I have made.
save it for a rainy day.

I sigh!

I cry!

because I almost died.

my noose that I have made
was hanging from the rafter
below it I sat so numb
contemplating my life hereafter
how could I have been so dumb.


When the light is shining, I think the good thoughts

I smile!

I laugh!

I love!

then I swear to myself,
It will be different now,
things will be just fine.

I know of those thoughts,
I've said them before
As they enter through that open door-

of my mind...

...time after time...

...time after time...

...then I raise my head and see
the tunnel thats ahead of me.
my heart begins to fear once again...

will this one be the end?

this one could be the end!

raising my head as others pass by...

....................[wondering why]...............................

...I'm just wondering why...


"at the end of the tunnel,  there is always another tunnel"


Bipolar!