I've polished up my hard heart
now it gleams.
diamond-studded
and it seats itself
in its setting
at the bar
where all the cowboys
come
chiping away
at its facets
word chisels flash
crack on its face
fade away
with yet another on the way
none making a scratch
because this heart was forged
in the whirlwind
in the maw of a volcano
heat-sealed
and it was spewed from a thousand
white hot lava-cuts, mishandlings,
misunderstandings and stolen shiny babbles
which went dark like concert sing-a-long wands in two minutes
from come-ons pronounced at five minutes before
the closing bell,
five minutes before last call
all desperate for
kidnapped love
which lies in chains
at the bottom of those meaningless words
'what's your name, honey? '

I am the bar-fly in the ointment;
the Lady Chatterly who never rode nude
the cowgirl who'd kiss her horse
before she'd kiss you
sitting impassively
draining admiration and flattery
from rodeo men
fresh from the last town
looking for circuit queens
good night kisses and hugs
bed room squeaks
from the not-really a honey-moon bed.

I am queen of my own bar-stool
all glittery made up
with a seven year old at home;
dug deep into my hope chest
taking my place here
with lip-stick lips
knowing most nights
I don't pay for drinks
wringing from my smoky-room subjects
their last false compliments
their last strivings for youth
like me;
just like me
going through the motions
of a ghostly recapturing
of what might have been
or maybe even used to be
if only
someone or something
hadn't took my real heart
and replaced it with
a rock-hard diamond
which gleams
immovable
yet irresistible.