I wrote this many years ago. Unfortunately it still speaks for me. And it ain't too bad.

My name was Susannah Carlson then, and will be soon again. The Carlson gets the credit.

dark water

dare i remember i lived in you?
so cold and huge,
so complex i’m surprised
the whole world isn’t lost in there
somewhere. is it?

sister, you are sinking.
dark water lapping you up like a black
cat’s tongue.

the moon is small and helpless.
afraid of the dark she is heart of.
afraid of her face
afloat on black water
she is paring her silver
to a nub.

you are sinking
your brilliant carpets soiled and swirling.
cold fish slapping at the first
of twenty-seven year-long steps toward heaven.

i have tried to reach you,
but the moon is turning, turning away
and you know night falls like a brick without her.
you know i cannot swim this night
of cold blood i had mistaken for your tears.

sister, you are sinking.
blind fish run like footsteps down your hallways.
cold gills sucking at the dark
like a thumb.

the moon has turned -
has turned her face away
for fear of herself
her mad woman self
singing arias in the shadows

and i have tried to reach you
but you know i cannot swim
this night of lies and silence

clutching at my feet like drowning hands.