Right here in this darkened room, I feel you as much as if you were standing right behind me, hands upon my shoulders, breath on skin, watching my reflection as words of you spill onto white screen
As the light mirrors back upon my face, I watch as simple syllables create a mosaic upon your smile, type-written life lines joining hearts, imprinting themselves across the highway that divides but that one day, may join
Two faces, hearts -- overlapped and frozen in this moment, as eyes, lips, souls unite beneath shared words which bear the weight of hopes and dreams, which live and breathe along the lines which travel from your world to mine, as close as a reflection as real as a sigh
Smooth!
I liked it a lot ...
Excellent title ......
I too re-read and it was even better ...
I totally agree - great for and word usage ...
as well as meaning and description ... well done!
this is so well done...this could easily be a romantic piece dealing with a face to face encounter or an electronic encounter between lovers...or possible lovers.
Your structure and wording is grand in this.
Then I scrolled down & read all the other reviews - Then I went back & carefully re-read your poem. SLOOOWLY & carefully!
No one else commented or questioned that which came to my mind.
After the first read, I thought perhaps it was about a lost lover, maybe one who had passed away? "your world to mine."
But after the 2nd read, I thought perhaps it was about E-mail, or even IM ? a darkened room, white screen, typed "life-lines" - highway
of the internet?
Been "looking for love in the wrong places" myself for 3 years now - thru this stupid grey box!
Glad I got here to read this as you are closing ya store for awhile.
This is on excellent close out write you offer here. Really felt the two standing there and then the images in the mirror
excellent write
Tommy
I love the images you conjure in this bold and striking write, Ann, and am so glad I caught you in one moment of your rare appearances, as you currently explain on your Biog! You have captured an intimate momentary sensation and encapsulated it in metaphors that seem to span the scenery of the globe, and have mixed the physical with the abstrace well. The effect is both tangible and elusive - smart, intelligent and classy write, thank you! Kate x
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i love the way you write--interesting, captivating imagery that begs the reader to continue--BRAVA!
a keeper--thank you :)
(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
I liked it a lot ...
Excellent title ......
I too re-read and it was even better ...
I totally agree - great for and word usage ...
as well as meaning and description ... well done!
Your structure and wording is grand in this.
Then I scrolled down & read all the other reviews - Then I went back & carefully re-read your poem. SLOOOWLY & carefully!
No one else commented or questioned that which came to my mind.
After the first read, I thought perhaps it was about a lost lover, maybe one who had passed away? "your world to mine."
But after the 2nd read, I thought perhaps it was about E-mail, or even IM ? a darkened room, white screen, typed "life-lines" - highway
of the internet?
Been "looking for love in the wrong places" myself for 3 years now - thru this stupid grey box!
Am I getting WARM ??? Tom.
This is on excellent close out write you offer here. Really felt the two standing there and then the images in the mirror
excellent write
Tommy
and frozen in this moment
greats lines to this marvelously conceptual, romantic poem ...
Reindeer
with wonderful phrases.
Sigh! So gentle. Well done. Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.(lol)
syllables create a mosaic
upon your smile < < < <I love that...GREAT writing, Ann!
my goodness...........
hey why not!!!
deep sigh here........:(
:)
pax......A