Moonlight crawls through the open window
to touch my body on the bed
tentative and slippery silver
like a thief stalking love

First it strokes my arm, reassures.
Then it rises, glistening on a tear-stained cheek.
Finally it rests on gold-wheat hair,
forms a halo and I become child-like.

With the aid of several pills, I'll be beyond its kiss soon.
Mannequin arm clutches a life-size pillow.
But no sterile stuffing can compensate
for the weight that is gone.

His picture smiles still on the bedside table,
closets crowd his boots and belts
man smell stains the blankets, the air,
the house reeks of him.

He built it brick by brick
his laughter once raised this roof
his tears took days to dry.
Now just the bricks remain.

Day by day I have to figure out how I fit here now.
If I can walk again in daylight

or will I slip silent as the moon,
stealing death from night
a wraith of light and shadow
cooling with the life of dawn.


---

This poem appears in the TSCL Anthology collection, available through the link below. Poems by members of This So Called Life, a writing workshop. Contributing Editors: C. E. Laine and Kathy Kubik, with poetry by Sherry Deanne Adams, Andrew Analore, Aaron Brauer, Pris Campbell, Corvin, David Curtis, David Durham, Deidre Elizabeth, Jason Fraley, Fulicasenia, Todd Heldt, Robert Kidd, Donna Hill, Poppy Hullings, Lisa Michelle Maloney, McGrittle, Dorothy Doyle Mienko, Mothdust, Nathan Novikoff, Nyktipolos, Rae Pater, Kari Rabarison, Redkat, J. Reed-Meeks, Heidi L. Nordberg, Sirrus Poe, Christopher R. Robbins, Don Schaeffer, D. K. Sterling, Melanie M. Stevenson, B. A. Stites, The Lost Lost Boy, Valerie Thomas, Paul Trombley, and Wintersong.