After thirty years
He finally told me
The reason he so ardently
Applied himself
To making my life hell
He is a dozen years my senior
Our union was a mistake, I guess
As I was a child when he met me
And I was escaping an unfathomable mess
Of a life of intolerable violence
Which I chose to leave
No matter the consequence
Or the dues I would have to pay
Or what those who loved me chose to believe
I just had to fold
On the hand life dealt me
To survive
And this man took me in
His world was a magazine
Sensational from a news stand
A shock value fairytale
His fame controlled him
I could not compete
And it tore me apart
And although I chose to leave him, too,
He has always had my heart
He loves me
This I know
I do not need for him to tell me so
For though I chose a different path
His presence has never left
And our years have not been uneventful
I stand in awe of him
The only man I have ever loved
Except for my father
He is beautiful
Like a god
And there are those that think he is a god
Or so I have been told
I gave to him a child
And he considers her the greatest gift
Time has changed us
And he loves me
He still tells me so
The years have brought
The normal tolls
The pain of losing those we cherish
Pain we must endure
And as the years pass
I grow to understand
That while I thought
Back then
That what we had was tainted
We have a pure and honest love
Born of passion that was smothered
By the things that passion brings to those too
Young and inexperienced to hold the tail of that tornado
And the answer was so simple
He says I hurt him with rejection
And he lived twenty years
With a wounded heart
With someone he never loved
Untrue to himself
So painful to know how I hurt
Such a passionate soul
So talented
So handsome
But we could never admit the truth
It is so true that the best of years
Are wasted upon ignorant youth
In our privacy
I still hold his hand in mine
I dry his weeping eyes
I am loyal to this man
In the midst of the trainwreck
That became our lives
It is a place in my life that no one else sees
A secret spot for only him and me
No one else would ever believe
Just me and Johnny C
When reading your line "Time has changed us" it reminded me of something I just saw from JAG in a message to her trackers about her moving to a newer genre. . .
"Comfort may bring security but it does not
bring growth, or at least that's what I've been told."
Change is never comfortable in the process, but the passion to change is always inviting. blessin's to your Sis. Blue,
Magnificent writing, Blue. A powerful confession that, just maybe
no one else would ever believe... I believe. I think the life we
love, sometimes, just won't love us back. --gene.
The heart, so like the rose, shines in the beauty of more than its totality. It's beauty is in its layers, and if one peers deep into the petals that lie as gently and lovingly upon one another as the lips of all those loved have pressed upon each other each with equal potency, quality and value, there are the seeds. With the talent of your pen and the majestic way you weave your words, your passion, your ability to live love in all its forms, to understand through your life the cycles, the co-existence, the eternity of what and how to love, gives us what you pen so well for us here - the seeds to grow, to blossom, to appreciate what it means to live. You remind us that we are not one dimensional beings and neither is our ability to care for those who have not only been a part of our lives. They are within the very definition of what our lives mean. Your talent is truly an American Beauty....
This felt to me as a cathartic.
The problems from being unevenly yoked with another can be devastating. I see Cody as a deep well of colors and expressions- a fine young woman who will find her way through the labyrinth- her mother will too. Tho the branches and leaves and blossoms of love can be cut off, the roots of love are difficult to get rid of. Deeply emotional Bloo Gurl.
richard
‘I have to go back soon,’ says Adam one afternoon. Yes, I know he has to go back soon. He has to go back to London and to his job and his apprenticeship. He has taken the maximum number of days leave – he has taken his entire Summer holiday in the Sp
Just a simple gathering of the Gay & Lesbian Activist Association of New Birch and Sipsboror (GLAABS) and we plunge down a hilarious ride to perdition.
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Deborah
"Comfort may bring security but it does not
bring growth, or at least that's what I've been told."
Change is never comfortable in the process, but the passion to change is always inviting. blessin's to your Sis. Blue,
cynth'ya lewis reed
Regis
hugs
fee
no one else would ever believe... I believe. I think the life we
love, sometimes, just won't love us back. --gene.
The problems from being unevenly yoked with another can be devastating. I see Cody as a deep well of colors and expressions- a fine young woman who will find her way through the labyrinth- her mother will too. Tho the branches and leaves and blossoms of love can be cut off, the roots of love are difficult to get rid of. Deeply emotional Bloo Gurl.
richard
I hope all is well. ;)