This is good, minimalist and potent. I am little concerned about that strophe break after see--. Also, even if your motivation is such that you need a new stanza after that you can perfectly enforce enjambment, so no need to put capital T (in The).
If you tend to believe romantic, passionate, masculine poetry is a thing of past eras, read "She Intrigues Me," and be swept away in the beautiful craft of a contemporary poet of love.
Under Amber Skies, written by author and poet Jill Eisnaugle, is a wonderful collection of rhyming poetry guaranteed to please every reader. In this, her second book, she writes of new friendships kindled, as well as old friendships solidified. She g
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Jim
Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Calvin