Timeless, breathless love … inspired by 'the Birth of Venus’
Illustration: The Birth of Venus, c.1485 (detail) - Sandro Botticelli
She’s such a pretty thing her smile’s a sin,
Venus of his, budding siren-sweetness
Botticelli-like; luminous likeness,
cerulean eyes, alabaster skin.
Long curled lashes shielding shyness, her twin
orbs no more reveal than naked neatness
she’d unveil and yield to lust’s completeness:
His loss, the longings misgivings have been.
He smolders, she fires his desires.
‘That was then’ tenders reminders again:
How he’d press his lips on her pounding pulse;
hold her; thunder heartthrob-stolen sounds when
in the flesh, (which her image inspires),
he didn’t shout he loved her, last impulse.
Hi Helg.
Sorry but I think there is a misplaced comma in this (I'm joking)
It took me a long time to get to this one but it was worthwhile coming around. Once again you have used the sonnet form and while the p[oem is good and captures the sensuality of Boticelli's painting I could not help feeling that the poem was a little constricted. Venus wants to shout "hey look at me, I've got bedroom eyes, a tiny waist and great boobies. Fall down and adore me, all you men.
But of course this is the 21st century and Venus now looks like ~~Kin Cattrall (oh well, I'll be honest. To me Venus look rather like Janet Caldwell ! )
Having said all that, its a good poem and I enjoyed it.
love
Ian
"She’s such a pretty thing her smile’s a sin,
Venus of his, budding siren-sweetness
Botticelli-like; luminous likeness,
cerulean eyes, alabaster skin."
Wonderfully descriptive and possessed of a gentle musicality! Superb write!
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Excellent... and that last line says it all.
You may wish to see my "Crystal Dreams" and "He Spoke of Leila Rose"...
Doc
Sorry but I think there is a misplaced comma in this (I'm joking)
It took me a long time to get to this one but it was worthwhile coming around. Once again you have used the sonnet form and while the p[oem is good and captures the sensuality of Boticelli's painting I could not help feeling that the poem was a little constricted. Venus wants to shout "hey look at me, I've got bedroom eyes, a tiny waist and great boobies. Fall down and adore me, all you men.
But of course this is the 21st century and Venus now looks like ~~Kin Cattrall (oh well, I'll be honest. To me Venus look rather like Janet Caldwell ! )
Having said all that, its a good poem and I enjoyed it.
love
Ian
Really, really delicate, sensual, elegant poetry!
"She’s such a pretty thing her smile’s a sin,
Venus of his, budding siren-sweetness
Botticelli-like; luminous likeness,
cerulean eyes, alabaster skin."
Wonderfully descriptive and possessed of a gentle musicality! Superb write!
A beautiful image & a deeply moving, compassionate write - wonderful!!
Best wishes,
Robert
Carmen
the way you composed this one!