General Mills now tells us Betty Crocker is a fake.

The woman, who for decades, showed Americans how to bake!

A composite corporate creation, in reality 50 souls,

Stiring feverishly behind the scenes in fifty different bowls.

And the woman there giving assistance with the pots and pan

Is a figment of imaginations, too. Top this one, if you can.

Aunt Jemima's visage on the box is next to pancakes stacked,

But is herself a little white lie. Or, is the lie she is all black?

Are we sure the Jolly Green Giant sorts out all those peas?

Or is he just a corporate image generating lots of fees.

And things with Tony The Tiger are rumored not that Jake,

In the Kellogg's Grr-reat Dept, he's Kellogg's resident flake.

Franco-American's Chef Boy-Ar-Dee is really an Italian guy,

And hoping to meet Sara Lee is searching for pie-in-the-sky.

Mr. Clean as a corporate hero is practically speaking dead,

We need a bold head cleaning and not a gleaming bald head.

There seems to be a pattern here, one that needs unfolding,

Are Glad Bags so darn happy 'cause it's profits they are holding?

Should we monitor these things, so as to gore the corporate ox?

Is the clown making the hamburgers really Jack-In-The-Box?

What is this hypocrisy going on? What appears a Communist plot

Is Capital's selling of heroes or….when you're hot, you're hot.

Relax. It's American advertising. A clever way to have a say.

What army is General Mills a general in? Just asking, by the way.

Copyright © 2011 by Frank Koerner