I’ve written, I have called out and I have wept over this thing. I have ran, walked and crawled to no avail it seems. Where are the answers I need to end this torment of unfinished business that lies upon my mind. It is like a cloud full of rain pregnant waiting to deliver. I have had peace only to suffer through this, in the way ahead I know there is victory but it seems so far away. What is worse than a self inflicted wound that needs a doctor to heal. My doctor sits on high. Above the clouds. Above my puny search for wisdom, I know that I am human a finite mind trying to make infinite decisions. I want to bend the shape of nature and have things go my way. Not able to see the changes upon my world. Caused by my twisted attempts. Better to leave it to God and wait for his help. His word will save me. When I read of patience and faith thinking on his help for me in latter days. How could I begin to think that he wont be there for me now. For as I do now with these words I have spoken in the past with their forefathers, Creating thanks for all the places He has brought me fromf. Such sweet words these, He has brought me out! They sing to Him they remind him that I am in love with him. When my songs begin in sadness, to talk to him brings about a change in my condition..