A guy in work, he was very mean
Used a tea bag more than twice
And he made no secret of this fact
He would never buy more than would suffice

He would always photo copy our newspapers
And once we glued a large coin to the floor
But when we returned the coin had gone
Mr Mean had vanished through the door

He had double glazing fitted into his home
And everyone thought him a changed man
But we later found out why he got it in
So his children wouldn't hear the ice cream van

And he was very fond of the over-time
So when I say this, please don't laugh
But when he told his children bedtime stories
He would start with-"Once upon a time and a half

The last time I seen him, he joined us at the bar
But sneaked off when it came his turn to buy his round
Though it was we who had the last laugh
'Cause in his haste he dropped a 20 bill on the ground

He died, but his wife gave him a great send off
She bought new clothes and became rather refined
Now she and her toy boy are sailing the med
With the money Mr Mean had left behind

So you can't take you're money with you
'Cause in Heaven there simply are no banks
And just look what happened to Mr Mean
Saved all that money, repaid with little thanks

                             G J Tate