a poem about one of my greatest fears

So what am I becoming
on this journey to the grave
a victim of isolation
just waiting for the page

to learn of loss
on page 2m
just waiting for that day
when all your pain will go away

but my suffering
will not be over
in fact, it'll just seem to start
i'll have chasm in my heart

and in this moment
I have nothing to say
we don't talk much anymore
and words just get in the way

I realize it's not your fault
You do the best you can
To hear from you at all is good
All part of the master's plan

so I sit here in my silence
Holding on to each and every breath
Suspended in this existence
waiting to read of your death

I know it is coming
and the end is near
being completely uninformed
is really just a fear

you'll be gone
and I'll go on
I'll learn to live with pain
but it will not be the same

so I sit here in my silence
Holding on to each and every breath
suspended in this existence
waiting to read of your death

2009