I was reading from an old journal
I found an entry I’d made and forgotten
Two pages – taped together with purpose

Surprised, I discovered that
Somewhere
I had lived a secret life
I was a boy and folded tightly into the arms
Of Anjelica Huston

She was the mother I never had
Her long inky hair brushing across my face
Turquoise jewelry against my neck and chest
She toweled me dry after swimming
I could see how much she loved me

David Bowie was playing upon loudspeakers
Palm trees swayed above us
trying to pull my attention away and distract me
I felt your smile beaming at me
From the distance of a mere foot

I must’ve been five
Standing transfixed in my dark-blue swim trunks
Cooling on drip-dry
You told me that I had to hurry
But I didn’t want to leave
You’d be gone again and I’d be alone once more

When I awake from this I wonder how many more times it’ll come
I wonder what I’m being told.
What I’m being shown and why.
Because of this, for years, I’ve loved you.
I guess you’re the mother I’ve never known.

I think of you every time I hear ‘life on mars’.








From: Observations of a Dead Man (2007)