a short fiction story in the form of poetry

Chapter 9
4:00 am

the noises i hear in this room
in this house
the ticking of the clock
in our room
and the one in the kitchen
distant and quiet,
but there
the dog shifting on her carpet
the heater rumbles to life
the squeaking of the tree
as it’s branches
claw towards me
your breathing
my breathing
but through it all
i hear the endless silence
the silence i crave
all i want, all i want
i want to not hear these things
i don't want to hear
the thoughts in my head
the noises in the world
anything

one week after you left
your visit had been too short
i missed you horribly
i have cried every night
including tonight
you are on the phone
thousands of miles from me
you whisper into your end
and it comforts me little on this end
your mother told you
to hang up an hour ago
you pretended you did
and kept talking to me
i cannot stop crying
there is nothing i can do
to make myself feel better
i hurt so bad inside
you tell me that i need sleep
i sob, i want sleep only with you
your whispered words
travel the distance between us
loosing none of their feeling
in the thousands of miles
of telephone cord and transformers
but i am not comforted enough
you shush me
‘babe’ you say
your beautiful voice in my head
‘i’m right there with you babe’
you tell me
i say nothing
‘turn off you lights,
get into bed’ you tell me
i do both, crying silently now
‘i’m there with you’
you are barely audible now
‘can you feel me?’
i shake my head to myself
whisper ‘no’ to you
‘close your eyes babe
close them tight.
i am right there in your bed
i am hugging you
can you feel me?
i can feel you.
i love you so much hun
you need to get some sleep
can you feel me’
i whisper to you
that i can
you tell me one more time
that you love me
that you are here with me
and you hang up
i drop my phone to the floor
and fall deep into sleep
a calm sleep
in your arms
your arms
thousands of miles
beyond the reach of sleep
but in them
i fall deep into dreamless sleep

in your embrace now
i feel consumed
no longer by the darkness
by the night
rather,
consumed by you
i pull slowly
from your arms
trying not to disturb
sitting on the edge
of this bed we share
the edge of the world
seems to lie beneath my feet
my chest feels heavy
my ears are ringing
i am crying
but i cant tell
the only thing on my mind
is my current task
my arms provide little warmth
for my small body
standing here
in the almost-center
of your
our room
i feel like i am falling
and try to regain my composure
i know what i am doing
i know this will work
no one can stop me now
nothing can stop me