IF WOMEN HAD UDDERS...

If women had udders

And cows had breasts

Would it give me the shudders

At beauty contests?

Would I oggle the cows

Out standing in fields?

Would I grin and carouse

Mouthing bovine appeals?

And think of the bras

That would have to be made!

(But hold your applause...

My point seems to have strayed!)

If this all seems bizarre

And sounds quite unreal,

Still the thought from afar

Has a certain appeal!

But it's all a big joke,

Not to worry one bit!

Since I'd likely just choke

On that abundance of tit!

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[Please note: It has belatedly come to my attention that one Stephen Cree has apparently already used the first two opening lines of this doggerel (back in 2001), so my profound appologies to Mr. Cree for having sustained a similar brain-fart (albeit after the fact). For those who wish to see Mr. Cree's poetic pontification on this subject, you can find it here:  http://www.funnypoets.com/poetry/udders.htm .]