Shopping is an American contact sport that surpasses
football, baseball, basketball,
tennis and golf.

We take this sport serious enough
to trample others during Wal-Mart sales
and go broke buying gadgets
with a half-life equal to
a short attention span.

When a new Ninety-Nine Cent store opened last year,
people lined up outside the door
three days early and slept on the sidewalk.

The addiction to shopping is so serious
that when the money runs out
many go window shopping
and they don’t buy the window.

My wife said going shopping does not count as exercise.
I disagree.
Once or twice a week, I visit Costco
walking every aisle not wanting
to miss that something
I don’t know that I want to buy yet.

After cruising a mile or two on concrete pushing a cart
that grows in weight,
I must be burning more than money.