My husband was entering the latter stages of Alzheimer's in 2004 and I was coping and remembering how it was in the beginning of our 54 year marriage. I know I had something to truly be grateful for. My wonderful memories.
Footnote: Eddie passed away in August of 2009. But I still have those wonderful memories.

YESTERDAY IS GONE – A poem

I think about all the things that are gone
Those times of fun and picnics and
Children playing games of tag
When the only worries were
Cut fingers and bruised knees
Scraped elbows, cries in the night
Bad dreams and Mommy, I am hungry
Runny noses, peanut butter sandwiches
And Kool-Aid glasses and sunny days
With the soft breeze blowing on my brow
Hanging wet clothes on clotheslines
Watching the shadows dance on wet sheets
Those days I dreamed my dreams of tomorrow
Going to the mountains in Colorado
Vacations at Port Aransas
He’ll be home by six, and we can talk about it
Memories of children playing in the rain
With squeals and shouts of delight
While I hugged myself with joy
Over this piece of heaven on earth
I think of those trips to the hospital
Where he caressed my brow
As I moaned with pain during the labor
And birthing of our four children
Those memories of tiny babies nestled
In his arms as he held the bottle to
Tiny lips as he sang a lullaby to them.
Memories flood in my thoughts
Of being up all night with a crying baby
As he sleeps through, never waking up
And he says to me happily next day
The baby slept all night didn’t he?
I remember our joy of signing the papers
For our very own house in the suburbs
Picking out furniture, sleek lines of blond
Danish modern, avocado appliances
I remember the long hours of planting grass
Watering the lawn, watching it grow
Planting spindling peach and Arizona Ash trees
He builds a barbecue pit and cooks hamburgers
While the puppies and toddlers played around us
On the patio in the cool evening air and he sits
With a cigarette glowing in the dark
Listening to the ball game on his little radio
Later in the night I pick up the children
Take them to bed, saying prayers
Of “Now I lay me down to sleep”,
While he cleans up the kitchen and turns out the light
And heads for our bedroom, after stopping
By their rooms to kiss them goodnight
There were years of coffee in bed,
As he would say “Good morning sweetie.
Here’s your coffee! Have a good day!”
He’s off to work, while I lay there
Looking forward to another day of being a mommy
And a wife and whatever I wanted to be that day
There were so many Thanksgiving Dinners
With large families and his sons watching
The football game with his uncles, and
Cousins and their Grandpa talking
As the girls giggled with their cousins
How I miss those times with all the women
Laughing and talking, drinking coffee,
As he sat patiently listening to
My Daddy as he talked on and on and on,
I call those our Golden Years
But yesterday is gone
And today I sit next to him,
He doesn’t remember anything about
Those sweet times together when we were
In bed at night talking about the day and
Funny stories and tall tales and
Our plans for tomorrow and next week
Now he is in his own world and I ask him
“What are you thinking?” and he says
“I don’t know. I can’t remember”.
So, I will never know either and I
Put my arms around him and hug him
And say, I love you, thank you for all
Those memories you gave me
Today we will walk this walk together.
He smiles at me and hugs me, kisses
My lips and says, “I am the luckiest man
In the world – what would I do without you?
I know that today I can go on
And we can walk this way together
And I won’t think about tomorrow
But yesterday is gone.

Lois Wauson, 2004