Ya can almost feel her presence in the morning before ya leave.

She could be ya best friend's daughter or the wife of Steve.

She knows the hours you're workin' and the time yer due home.

She knows all about ya man as well as her own.

She makes it her business to become yer new friend.

What this hoochie's doin,' well, she's tryin to move in.

To make it with ya man 'cause she's lackin' luvin' at home.

This back door hoochie-friend can't leave yer "stuff" alone.

You've put in a day's work early, and happily try callin' home.

But ya man doesn't answer, not even his cell phone.

Arrivin home,' ya go to the kitchen to get a cool drink.

Ya see two empty glasses soakin' in the sink.

Needin' five minutes bed rest before puttin' dinner on.

Ya pull back ya'll satin sheets, they're perfumey and warm.

Hearin' water runnin,' ya man, ya start ta call.

There's a lot of heavy breathin' comin' from the shower stall.

When ya pull back the curtain, what ya see makes ya fall.

There's ya man and Miss Hoochie pressed up against the wall.

While they grab towels and try ta cover themselves,

reaching for rumpled clothes, tryin' ta scatter like elves.

Ya lash out in anger, tellin' Miss Hoochie a few things.

Ya say, "When I get through with you, you'll wish you had wings!"

But, I'll give you one chance to get the hell out of here!

As long as you move fast, you'll have nothin' to fear!"

Then ya turn ya attention to ya naked, simple man,

Standing' there lookin' stupid, wearin' socks and a fan.

Ya say, "I've got words for you now, actually ten will do.

Get out right now and take Miss Hoochie with you!"

bjd