If you hadn’t the time to remember
with all of your senses amuck
then try not to whine to distraction
when your head’s in the banister, stuck.

If the pizza is bulblin’ and steamin’
but impatience is part of your plan
don’t complain when your mouth is in ribbons
nor rebuke when I scold you again.

If your fun is to run with some scissors
and you trip over something unseen
you’ll recall how I thrice told you not to
and I wasn’t just tryin’ to be mean.

If the dog growls when you start to tease him
and he tries to escape from a fight
don’t follow him under the table
lest he rip off your face with a bite.

If you drive with your arm out the window
and rudely gesture to people you scoff
don’t scream in such hideous horror
when a passing car lops it right off.