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nightmare by Bebot Amy
Monday, July 20, 2009
Not rated by the Author.
i got the idea from a tv show.
As I was sitting on my bed reading i saw a flash out the corner of my eye then a crash erupted then everything went black. The sky had turned a gastly green. I just sat there starring openned mouth when a flash of lightning flittered across the sky revealing the one thing i didn't want to see. A tornado. I jumped of my bed and ran down the hallway when i tripped and the next thing i knew it I was sitting straight up in bed with sweat dripping of me. What a nightmare i thought to myself.
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Reviewed by Alison Pearce
7/26/2009
That is excellent prose Bree! You built up a wonderful atmosphere and let us feel it in very few words. There are a couple of spelling mistakes, but nothing major.
As writers, it is very important that we go over our work very carefully! Keep writing!!
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