The Gift

They had been childless for years and the call came for them so waited for.  A little blue eyed girl, with curly black hair and huge wondering eyes that lit up. She was tiny weighing only 4lb 5oz, a little unwanted waif a gift to them exceptionally alert for a tiny newborn so she was told later in life…

She grew to a tiny red headed green-eyed tornado by age 3 so full of life; with constant smiles and eagerness getting into everything and anything how do things work. Yet, she was painfully shy she knew somehow she didn’t fit in most often clinging to her mothers leg or begging her father to hold her. Her knowing, by the time she was attending kindergarten, started with other children throwing play yard sand at her and kicking her. Down to the most degrading thing of spitting on her. “My mommy told me you weren’t wanted and someone threw you away,” said April.

Other children shied away from her, they too sensed a difference in this child.  She knew their thoughts and it frightened them. But, no matter the taunting to her and tears she shed, she put it all aside feeling compassion and no hate for them. Her grandmother told her mother, “You realize she is a gift” no child of her age is this giving. Last summer while she came to visit us, I made spaghetti and set the bowl on the table for her and her little friend to dish up on a plate.  Her little friend took the whole bowl and started eating it.  She watched her for awhile and then looked at me and said, “Grandma, she can have it I think she’s really hungry.  

Even as this small child, she possessed compassion and noticed others sufferings and needs and helped with no care for how she was treated. Often giving her lunch money away to the poor children so they could eat (Unbeknownst to her mother). This child grew suffering more indignation in life, but she somehow knew there was a reason for her being.  It wasn’t to be liked, it wasn’t even to be pretty or popular in fact she was quite a tomboy.  Much to the distaste of her mother who tried to make a lady out of her through ballet dance; ice skating, and piano lessons.  She did like the dance and the music though. It was one of her most prized escapes away from the world of unkindness to her. She was not perfect by any means and had all the human frailties and faults as all people do.  But, she just knew there was a reason and one day it arrived.

A voice in 1994 told her, “you are a gift a special gift to those who suffer and also a gift to the dying for you will calm their fears and them in transition.” Mind you now the first thing she thought was mental health check was in order. After all it was difficult working full-time and caring for a dying husband at home most often sleeping on the floor next to the hospital bed they provided you with.  Until…

Standing by his bed in the hospital, dying from cancer that he fought so bravely she saw the dancing lights above his belly.  She said to her friend, do you see the lights? Look, look over his stomach can you see them? Her friend who thought she was just exhausted and tired saw or imagined them and said yes to humor her.

At that moment, she knew what to do.  She took her dying husbands hand, closed her eyes and said, ”Look, they are here and have come for you don’t be afraid I will walk with you.  We will be okay, she promised.”  Upon this declaration she saw them both walking, walking down a long tunnel with a bright light at the end.  She wanted to go with him, but a hand held her back and said no. Now if anyone has seen the movie Ghost, this was the look of contentment upon his face, as he turned to her in Army uniform now with a smile upon his face. At that moment the noise of the heart monitor notifying a flat line blaring in her ear snapped her to. He was gone.

The Gift…

Note: Often we ask ourselves, what is our reason for being or doing here. Often we do not get an answer and are left to ponder and wonder why.  Since that experience with my late husband I have had the innate gift of knowing many things if for the higher good and have been drawn to those dying in my vicinity and am their guiding light.

Blessing to all of you and whatever gift you possess, be that gift to others…

Love and Light

Lily