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Violation Part 1: Just Wondering by Tammy Hazlegrove
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
This was written in regards to when I was raped.
I have a few questions to ask the psychiatrists of the world
what makes a man think he can violate a woman?
what makes him think he can speak
as suggestively
and candidly as he feels to a woman?
what is truly classified as a violation?
or harassment
how often does he have to do it?
what does a woman do
when she knows the man
or when he's a relative
or if he resides at the same address as her?
what does she do
when she's already been
physically violated by this man?
what does a woman do
when that woman is you?
I don't guess there's any one answer
to any of these questions
i'm sure everyone handles
these situations differently
some go to a counselor
some to their church
some to a close relative
some to a friend
then there's the few that go to the police
press charges
and take it to court
themselves
because they turned to drugs
to escape the incident
yet still
there are the millions and millions
that never says anything at all
we just put on a happy face
and crumble on the inside
caught somewhere between hell
and hell's neighbor
but no matter how any of us may deal with it
we all have two things in common
that we undoubtedly do the same
we live, eat
breathe and sleep
the assault
and we never forget
so tell me something
Mr. and Mrs. Psychiatrists
just how do we cure that part?
There is no psychological cure once trust has been destroyed. The makeup of the man is different from that of a woman. There has been accounts of rape since the beginning of history. We are just now getting around to addressing the problem, especially in families. By writing about it, like you have, there may be created enough stigma to prevent men from crossing that line. But it will take millions of women, and men, standing up to the biological urge that men always have, and say, “no,” or there will be severe consequences.
A friend of mine, “accidentally,” shot and killed a man––she only meant to warn him and scare him out of that behavior––who raped her and bragged about his ability to kill people if he wanted. Her one shot killed him and she had to serve six years. That six years has ruined the rest of her life, including another two years for assault because she had a fight with her husband where she should have never even been arrested.
The only thing that can be done is to expose, expose, expose them till that kind of behavior becomes extinct.
In the end they'll all be dancin'--all them ones that didn't die.... Dance with me in the shadows amidst the lightning and the thunder, and all that nu-cu-lar debris. See the big bang from the other side, and then open that cellar door. Go down into
