Quietly, he sat at his desk and thought about her, the same woman who shattered his heart with lies. The woman had broken his spirit and turned a gentle man into a weakened soul.
As he sat there, he ran his fingers through his hair and wondered, ‘Have I done something wrong?’
He held his head in his hands, arms propped upon the old wood desk. Many thoughts raced through his mind. Was I not good enough for her? Did my work keep me from her? After all, she had had promised him she would be patient and wait for him until his work was completed.
As he sat back in his office chair, he sighed heavily and stared at the flickering cursor on a blank page. With or without her, he knew he had to continue. After all, his work was not about her, although it was for her, he was bound to finish, he had a previous obligation to do so.
Alone…the emptiness in his heart caused by the lies she had told him. Ask her about all those lies and she would have denied them unto the death, but his heart knew. He knew. She had lied to him for the last time and the distraction he felt for her was no longer wanted and no longer needed.
Quietly, he sat there and wondered why she had kept all those secrets, along with other thoughts running rampant through his head. Why did she keep her friends from me? ‘Is there any good in her?
“Shake her from your mind!” he yelled to no one but himself as he tried to break free from the thought of her.
He stood up from his desk and slowly walked into the kitchen. Tears would burn at his eyes if he dared but he could not allow even a single tear to trail down his face. He would not allow himself to cry for the loss of her, or the anger he felt toward her or for realizing the truth he had hidden from himself for so long.
She was no good and he knew it. He knew that she had lied to him so many times, but he had loved her, so he had buried the truth just to keep her close to him. Is this not the way of us all? ...Hoping for love, begging for love, only to pick up the little breadcrumbs they dole out along life’s path.
He walked into his simple, little kitchen and poured a glass of tea as he wrestled with himself, trying harder to break free of his thoughts of her. Nevertheless, how could he? She had broken his heart and there it lay, bleeding on the ground, void of life.
He placed the tea pitcher back in his refrigerator and grabbed his glass of tea before he walked over to the sink to look out the window. A thick fog hovered within the light of a street lamp, glowing faintly, as he stood there and longed for the days when things were as he always hoped they would be.
“I can’t do this anymore,” exploded from the core of his being as he stepped away from the sink and walked, almost ran, back into the living room.
After placing his tea carefully on his desk coaster, he sat back down and stared at the screen. The cursor, ever faithful, flickered in anticipation, waiting patiently for the newly-written . Finally, he rested his hands on the edge of the desk as he poised his fingers to strike at the keys.
“If I cannot forget her, I will write about her and the world will know what she has done to me,” he declared aloud, with newly-found confidence.
His fingers came to life and the words became his sword against the evil she had wrought upon his soul. Sentence after sentence flew from his mind to his fingers as the cursor eagerly moved along to brand her forever in the annuls of time.
Then, he sat back…his fury finally written, yet he knew…he knew deep in his slowly-healing heart that he would always love her. He could never trust her but the love he had for her would never go away…would never leave him, like that of a haunting memory, he would carry his love for her forever.