A woman in the security check point line commented on how complicated flying it today. I replied, "Only when you don't know what you are doing." So here is some info on how to do it with ease.
As a frequent, frequent flyer, I have witnessed some of the dumbest things in the security check point line at the airport. As we all should know by now, shoes are a no-no. So please, I implore everyone who is about to embark on a trip that involves flying, DO NOT WEAR BOOTS. Yes, I know, winter is coming up, and there are all these hot looking boots in the stores right now, and you just can’t wait to show off how cool and fashionable you are. Forget it. When flying wear slides, sandals, clogs, whatever you can slip off and slip back on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the line held up while some chick tries to liberate her foot from a well fitted boot, without the benefit of a chair. It’s not pretty. So pack those damn boots.
Now there are a few other issues that seem to have everyone stumped. If you are traveling with a laptop, remove it from your case while standing in line. Hold it in your hand until you get to the conveyor belt, and then place it in a tray. If you are wearing a jacket, it needs to come off and placed in a rectangular tray. If anything is in your pockets, they need to be removed and placed in a round tray, not a rectangular one, a round one. TSA gets really upset if you don’t follow protocol. If you are wearing a hat, it goes right onto the conveyor, do not put it in a tray. All bags, boxes, purses, and computer cases, need to be laid flat onto the conveyor. Do not leave them standing up.
To speed this whole mess up even more put things on the conveyor belt in order of how you will be putting them back on your body. So if you are like me, the backpack goes on first, then the computer case, then the laptop, then the shoes. This way when my back pack comes out I fling it over both of my shoulders while waiting for the computer case. Once the case arrives I situate it with the opening up, this makes it a quick process of putting the laptop back inside. I then fling that over one shoulder, at which point my shoes have now exited from the tunnel of security. I throw then on the floor and slide my feet into them. Then I run like hell for my gate because I have just had to wait an inordinate amount of time for the two well-groomed, but totally clueless women in the fancy spike heeled boots (that do not have zippers), wrestle with their boots, purses, hats, jackets, computers, shopping bags and all manner of useless carryon baggage, before I can carry out my well thought out process of getting through the security check point at the airport without a hassle.
Sara - This is great for those who fly these days. Why in hell don't the airlines print a quickie flyer with this stuff? It is interesting, even though I don't fly much, anymore. From this, I'm glad I don't Thank you.- Bill
Oh, I know the feeling in airports
I wish they could invent some camera where you don't need to take anything off
just pass thru and they see down to the underwear :)
Simplicity is so under-rated anymore. And don't even get me started on the ridiculousness of "fashion boots". Your article was humourous but full of excellent advice.
Nice to hear from another wise seasoned traveler, and some wonderful advice, Sara. I just wish others would heed it and learn. I got so tired of the constant hassles and delays caused by the people you speak of, I now drive most everywhere; and I'm much happier these days.
Hehehehehe...this reminded me when my luggage was over weight...I had to unpack almost 7 pounds of chocolates to reduce the penalty to still another 40 pounds overweight...I had to take all those chocolates as hand luggage...and I had a overload of books already...and the moment I was doe with the security check tha baggy with the chocolates fell and all landed spreaded over the damn floor...I picked it up and the last sa 20 cubes or so ..I just left it on the conveyor and told the staff they could have it. You musta seen the joy on their faces...Everybody just started to laugh and the tention was gone!!
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