Mom began having pain and falling often due to arthritis in both of her knees in the summer of 1959. Although she was only 41 (I was eleven; Helen was fourteen), Mom bought a cane and began using it to get around.
Me and my three younger sisters were born with congenital nerve deafness which we apparently inherited from our Dad, Lee, who died of cancer in 1953. I was wearing a body hearing-aid then, paid for by the Lion's Club, and we'd just learned about the other three needing hearing aids. The Board of Education put one of my younger sisters into 'special education' classes; another they refused to 'let in' for another year. Mom was pissed!
Things began changing drastically with the beginning of school in the fall of '59.
One of my first homework assignments was to write to a 'celebrity' and wait to see if he/she would reply. Since I had few friends, I skipped lunch and used the money to buy stamps. Mail became VERY important to me—I could and DID write to Presidents and World Leaders stating my interest in history and them.
Mom and I both celebrated birthdays in September. Mom was a bit superstitious about age forty-two as that was Dad's age when he passed away of cancer (in 1953) and age twelve (which was her age when she dropped out of school to care for her aging grandparents).
One beautiful October morning, Mom and I were returning from the grocery store. She'd gotten out of the car-with my help—and had her cane in her right hand. I left her holding onto the hood of our '53 Chevy and ran to check the mailbox in front of our yard. Meanwhile, Mom let go of the hood, started walking up to the front porch with her cane, thrust her cane into a hole in the ground and fell.
Both of her swollen knees hit the unfinished cement blocks we walked up to get to the porch. First she screamed, then curses followed … rolling off her tongue like swords aimed at my heart. "YOU *&#.%!"
I ran to her as fast as I could only to get hit over the head and beaten with her cane. "Look at me! Why did you do this to me?"
"I didn't mean to."
Mom took the mail from my hand and threw it up in the air. "You and your stupid mail! You've crippled me!"
She was still slinging her cane around to the point that Helen and the others, who'd bounded out of the house, were afraid to come near us. Finally, Mom calmed down a bit and Helen helped me get her into the house and onto her bed. When I looked at her bloodied knees, Mom pushed me away.
"Go bring the groceries in!" The cane slammed across my back so hard that I fell to one knee. "I don't need YOUR help now! Get the groceries!"
Helen tended to Mom's wounds which, to have Mom tell it, crippled her for life. She never drove the car again, seldom went out of the house … even after the Lion's Club bought her a wheelchair.
Mom wanted ME to drop out of school and take care of her. I refused. Besides, in Ohio at that time one had to be sixteen to drop-out; none of us were old enough. However, Mom put me in charge of 'her' duties—cashing her checks, shopping, laundry, housekeeping, etc.—as she wouldn't walk anymore.
Helen, taking home economics in high school, became the cook and the third oldest, Dee Dee, ten, became the dish washer.
That Thanksgiving, as always, we received several baskets of 'food for the needy'. Mom (complaining all the while) came in to cook the turkey and make the gravy. (The pumpkin pies were 'store bought'.) Helen and Dee Dee 'assisted' her with everything else which made for a rather unusual dinner. Helen, claiming to have made biscuits at school, volunteered to make them at home and Dee Dee made Jell-O.
I wasn't allowed to 'help' in the kitchen!
Mom said she feared 'falling' again. "Besides, Sue has to 'study' so she can support me for the rest of my life. It's HER fault that I'm 'permanently injured'." (Mom never forgave me!)
{We only ate well on the holidays as by the tenth of the month (after all the bills were paid) Mom's social security check (which only covered three kids) was gone. The rest of the month we ate beans and drank water. Holidays we feasted on food others gave us. Nothing edible lasted long at our house.}
We sat down to dinner and heaped our plates full of everything. The food was super, as always. Mom was a great cook but the girls, unfortunately, were just learning.
The Jell-O was still liquid; hadn't been made early enough to jell and Dee Dee didn't know about adding ice cubes. That was no big deal.
Helen's biscuits, on the other hand, were as hard as a rock. We were raised to be polite so we all attempted to bite the biscuits and eat them as best we could. Suddenly, however, one of my younger sisters bit down and blood poured out of her mouth! She, and Mom, ran from the table to the bathroom.
When Mom came hobbling back in, she smiled at Helen. "You know that loose tooth your sister had but wouldn't let us touch?"
Helen, a tad scared, nodded.
"Well, it came out in your biscuit!"
When Mom laughed, we all joined in. It made a tense day a lot merrier … and we never let Helen forget her 'teeth-grabbing' biscuits.
**I am thankful for my siblings. I was closest to my older sister, Helen, who passed away October 1, 2003 of a sudden, massive heart attack.
People don't realize what they say to their kids; words do hurt, and they CAN hurt for life. I know; I still live with the pain of what was said to me by my mother and grandmother years later! But I am a survivor, and you are too! Heartbreaking write!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :( >tears <
Reviewed by April Smith
11/4/2004
Thank you so much for sharing your memories with us...it must have been hard having to be the "grown-up" and take care of your mother. I give you a lot of credit! The rest of the story, regarding Helen's biscuits, was sweet. :-) April
