Charity became a way of life in Thanksgiving 1976.
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On July 4th, 1976 my husband, Dan, and our son, Doug, decided to join my daughter and me as clowns! We were the first and only family of clowns in Ohio! I'd previously designed and sewed costumes for the guy according to the wishes—two piece outfits with separate trousers—both in red, white and blue.
Sherry, five, had been clowning around with me since age eighteen months as it was easier than finding a babysitter. Her clown name, Sugar, was given to her by the adults we visited in nursing homes as they were always saying, "Come here, Sugar!"
Doug, seven, was hearing-impaired and, since I was too, it was important that Dan be with us to keep our son out of harms way. Since Doug was a natural cut-up, I named him 'Funnybone' … which he loved.
Dan's clown name, Stars 'n Stripe (as he had one stripe from his forehead down to the tip of his nose and star-shaped bright blue eye make-up), was based on his make-up.
My clown name, Silly Sal, reflected my 'goofy' nature and a teenage crush on an actor, Sal Mineo. I wore a variety of colors and designs, had several dozen costumes, as 'silly' went with everything. My lucky (award-winning) colors were purple and gold lame but another favorite was a hot pink boa-trimmed outfit that glowed in the dark.
That Thanksgiving (for the 1st time) we were ALL doing two things: #1) appearing in the Thanksgiving Day Parade in downtown Dayton, Ohio and #2) then going to the Convention Center to entertain those receiving free Thanksgiving dinners.
Dan and Doug quickly developed into skilled arts in balloon sculpting (designing balloon into various animals and shapes). They made and gave away balloons to the kids.
I did skits, pratfalls, had puppets, told jokes and performed magic tricks. Sherry was my 'assistant'. They'd asked for a 'pick-pocket' clown (the children chose a 'freebie' from one of multiple pockets on one's costume) so that's the costume I wore.
The previous Christmas I'd given Dan a gold ring with twelve diamonds—one for each hour—and Dan wore it to the charity dinner. Obviously, in front of underprivileged people, he should have left it at home.
Mom and my siblings invited us 'home' for Thanksgiving dinner—none of the volunteers ate at the banquet. As usual, they had turkey with all the trimmings. I brought the rolls and desert—pumpkin pies, apple pies, whipped cream and a fruit cake. (I LOVE fruit cake and, since they are hard to find these days, now make my own.)
It was only afterwards, when we were all sitting around yakking, that Dan looked at the time and gasped. The watch was still on his hand but half of the diamonds were missing!
Dan and Mom theorized they were 'picked' out of their setting by 'someone' at the dinner. I think, with his hand constantly in motion as he made the balloons and the constant thrusting of his hand in-and-out of his pocket, that the constant friction caused the stones to fall out. Thereafter, the only jewelry we wore to those events was our wedding rings.
From 1971-1977 Sherry and I were part of Bernie's Clown Troupe. Dan and Doug were members from 1976-1977.
In 1978 I became Chairperson of the Independent Order of the Forresters Clown Troupe. I then, in 1979, founded both Sal's Sillies and the Epilepsy Clown Troupe of Miami Valley (Ohio).
Our Thanksgiving dinner remained at Mom's (even after she passed away June 25th, 1983) until April 15th, 1985. On that date my siblings decided to evict me 'from the family,' hired a lawyer and attempted to have me declared legally dead.
Why? Doug 15, Sherry 13, and Jeff 17--Helen's only child (my mom only had the three grandkids)—stole my car, ran away to Kentucky (Dan's parents') and we'd just returned with the children. My two younger sisters INSISTED that Dan/I give custody of our two children to them as we were obviously UNFIT! We refused!
My siblings, swearing I threatened them, got a peace bond against me and I wasn't allowed within 100 feet of any of them OR our old home. My pictures were removed from the family albums and my name stricken from all records … as if I never existed. There was absolutely NO CONTACT permitted between us at their demand.
They also (via their lawyer) sent me a bill for $10,000 for my share of the costs of THEM staying with mom, taking care of her and NOT getting married. My lawyer said I didn't owe a dime as mom was providing FREE everything for them in exchange for them staying home. It was their choice to do it; I wasn't part of that agreement.
Nonetheless, life went on. We began family therapy and continued doing the charity dinner—which was over at 2 p.m. I cooked our Thanksgiving dinner. We celebrated at home, alone, until Dan and I were divorced in 1987.
After Doug disappeared December 3, 1992, my siblings contacted me and offered their assistance/support in finding him. His body was found February 4th, 1993 and we (I married Al in 1988) drove from California to Ohio, buried Doug, and two of my sisters kept in contact thereafter—Helen and Dee Dee. Helen passed away October 1, 2003.
Thus, 1984 was the last Thanksgiving with my siblings. I will always be grateful for the good times we had together and for the good times I've had with others since.
Al LOVES making Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinner. Since it's the only time he cooks, I enjoy the day and the meal immensely.
We've had Doogie for the holidays even before he moved in with us April 11, 1998. Sometimes we go to Al's parents (to cook dinner for them) or to Utah (to be with Al's kids, grandkids). It's one of my favorite holidays.
******I am thankful for Al, Doogie, all our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and in-laws.
So much history in this piece, I'm left in awe. Thank you for taking the time to share it. I hope you have wonderful Thanksgiving this year.
M.Rose
Reviewed by Divinity 11
11/12/2004
Wow! What a story and piece of family history! It might evolve into a nice screenplay if you tried. I think it's wonderful that there's something you and your husband can do with your children that you all enjoy!
Beautiful slice of life story, Sandy! Thank you for sharing; and thank you for giving the world the gift of laughter and hope! We need more clowns in this world!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
