. Teaser Lines from
THE BIKER CHRONICLES
PANAMA WHISKEY...
"Quickly they ladled mash into quart Masons in a fit of frenzy; the still was swelled with shine, they were swelled with sweat, 'til the five-star yuppie man drove away in his unmarked 'Vette."
MASH CAMP...
"They heard a sick cough an' a cry; the homesteader's wife had tick fever, because they were poor, she would suffer an' die; it was then, Panama asked if he could give his healing whiskey a try."
ELINOAR AND RANDALL...
"Something old, something new; yes, the wind is on loan, the asphalt is borrowed too, then something in Electra Glide blue."
THE VISION JAMMER
"The asphalt hatched with annoying shrews. He flattened a few, but the more mousketeers he pancaked, the more battered the highway. One of them lodged itself in the front wheel spokes, screaming its bloody life away. It was too much for the Vision Jammer. Nam severed his patience vein. It was now time to annihilate shrews."
OUTLAW'S REVENGE (THE MILWAUKEE STEEL PRAYER)...
"The pool tables were busy with punk, sidewalk commandoes. He drank his draft, watching for a one-of-kind bomber jacket. The sidewalk commandoes cleared out when Outlaw tore a cue from the rack and rammed it between the punk's scrawny legs, just below his crotch. Outlaw stripped the leather off the blonde, generic rock star, who probably thought, compared to this beard, Charles Manson was sane. Outlaw reached for his piece connecting the barrel to the punk's throbbing Adam's apple, intending to blow his vocal cords to a stringy pile of bloody silence."
BROTHERS, JUGS, AND WEED...
"The auctioneer went to the other extreme, like wow, he had too many strong herbs with Hendrix. Imagine, 60s-qualude lingo. Harley-Davidson came out pronounced Hauley-Dividson, the Hauley sounding like a carburetor, an' the Dividson sounding like that white Christmas candy ya make with Karo syrup, Divinity."
TATOOED ON CONEY'S EYE-LAND...
"Well look at this sweet model, girls---a Harley-Dykeson!" said one of the hookers, misunderstanding Trish's presence. The working girls laughed and walked up to Trish, reaching out their ruby-and-diamond-jeweled hands, touching her like they wanted a lick of the curvy candy cane."
ALL COLORS WELCOME, NO ATTITUDES!...
"Pirate walked into the pet shop. He headed straight to the feather department. After seeing the price tag on the parrot, Pirate told the expensive parrot, 'No way, you feathered rainbow---if I pay this much for something that flies, it better be Eagle iron!'
"No way to you too, you one-eyed woodchuck---when I'm sold, it better be to somebody with two good eyes an' don't smell like 60-weight sawdust," the parrot replied.
Copyright 2005 Keysta D. Lorean aka Sage Sweetwater, firebrand lesbian novelist
