Christmas isn't always merry. For some, the holidays only bring pain.
I hate this time of year.
The sight of the twinkling Christmas lights/decorations, the strains of "O Holy Night" or "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", the smells of holly, evergreen, and gingersnap, and the colder weather tickling our noses is enough to make me want to start crying.
You see, it was three years ago during this time when I lost my husband, Pat, and our youngest daughter, RickiJoleen, to a burgler who invaded our home. He shot them in cold blood; I was the one who'd found them dead, lying in a pool of blood.
I still have nightmares, flashbacks, for which I am undergoing therapy; however, it doesn't seem to be donig any good. The dreams, memories are too fresh, too painful, for me.
Before The Incident happened, we were a typical family: me, my husband, and our four kids, then 12-year-old Caleb Shawn, 10-year-old Tiffany Joy, RickiJoleen Marie (six), and the baby, two-year-old Grant Michael. We loved each other, and we loved life.
Then came that horrible night when we were awakened by the sound of heavy footfalls in our house, and shouting in Spanish. Someone had broken into our house; we grew terrified. I then heard glass breaking, the sounds of fighting, then a gunshot; after that, a couple of thuds, the sound of bodies hitting the floor. I was paralyzed with fear; I didn't know what to do.
When I went to check in on my family, that was when I found my beloved husband, Patrick, lying on the ground. Beside him was little RickiJo. They were not moving; immediately I knew that both were dead; they'd never rise again. I started screaming, and then everything went black.
That was the last thing I remember. And it was about this time; I reemmber that clear as day.
So as a result of my life, my husband, daughter being stolen from me, I no longer do Christmas. It's nothing but an overblown, overcommercialized holiday anyway; I don't want to have nothing to do with it. This is why you won't find me shopping except for my family, and forget holiday parties: chances are, I won't even be there. And as for stepping foot into a church to see the latest Christmas pageant, I won't do that either.
I'd much sooner stay home, forget that Christmas even exists. To me, it's just another day, another reminder of what once was, and I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with it.
So on that note, leave me the hell alone; I don't need Christmas in my life!
Karen, this story sounds so true that it's scary!! What a sad holiday story--one that unhappily happens too much in real life. I wish you could have had your character find peace in her loss and come through to the other side of grief. Thanks for sharing!.
Yes, it needs to be written, and leave it to you to tell the often untold stories - sadly, at Christmas there are those for whom recent tragedy and life-long sufferings cannot not be put out by bright lights and material gifts. You're a pro at telling what needs to be told. Well done. (and may at least YOU, Rest Merry this Christmas, despite it all)
Michael
There is so much evil in the world, dear Karen, even as you have portrayed in this gripping story. It sometimes causes me to ask what I can possibly do about it. I can't stop it. I can't change hearts or comfort every hurting soul. But God has me in one little part of His world, and I can follow His lead and spread His light where I am. He said, "Love one another as I have loved you." This is the mandate and the direction for my life, following Christ and allowing Him to touch my neighbor's life through me. I know it is your desire, too.
God bless you during this Christmas season
and always,
Connie
It may be fiction Karen but it is probably true of far too many who feel this way about Christmas. But we can't go blaming God for what goes wrong in our lives; it is the greed and evil of so many that cause things like this to happen. Good reminder of how things SHOULDN'T be and that there are people out there who need our prayers, our help and our understanding for their bitterness. Merry Christmas and God bless you my friend.
This tale is very tragic, and yes, many....are sad and their pain is so great that Christmas and the holidays mean absolutely nothing to them... It is also easy to understand that and to feel sympathy...yet..we must go on...we must pick ourselves up and we must never give up... we must not "do it just for us" but to not take this horrible tragedy and use it for the betterment of another life seems such a waste.. She has so little to be thankful for... yet she is alive...not living...but alive...and she is choosing to be one of the walking dead! lindalaw
The sad truth of these tragedies is that different people react different ways. I have seen people who having lost a love one become religious to the point of zealousness, others who turn to the bottle or drugs, and others who just reject all they have know in lieu of a cold isolation of heart and soul. I guess none of us can judge who have not gone through it our selves. Thoughtful write.
hugs
Fee
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