In my dreams, I have a very happy, active, productive life.  I work, I take care of a family, and I am involved in a some activities outside the home when my family or job aren't taking precedence.

My life is good ... or it should be.

Unfortunately, that isn't the case for me.  In real life, my life is a struggle.  I have Becker's muscular dystrophy that has left me weakened and dependent on braces and a cane (or a wheelchair or scooter for longer distances).  I was diagnosed with Beckers's MD 10 years ago when I was 20.  I'm now 30.  I often have to have my husband care for me, and my mom has had to watch the children for me because my muscles will no longer let me do some of my parenting duties.  It's a real pain in the ass.

Being diagnosed with MD is one of the worst possible things that could have ever happened to me.  Up until my health went south, I had a happy, vibrant, active lifestyle.  I was one of those types of people who exercised every day, threw herself into her work, took care of a loving husband, and was active in church.  Now I am a shell of my former self.  I no longer go to church (for one thing, it's not very handicap-accessible); I'm embarrassed about people staring at me because I've gotten so thin and pale.

So I just stay home and feel sorry for myself.   

Work is my escape.  I can at least still answer the phone and field calls that come in.  I work for a dentist's office; I am their receptionist.  I can be productive, but some days my body threatens to abandon ship, and then I have to fight like hell to regain control of my haphazard muscles.

I know my disease willl get worse in time but for now I try to do as best as I can.  It's not easy, though, and there are days where I curse God for allowing this to happen to me.  I just thank my lucky stars that I have my family, friends, and especially my mother; without them, I don't know what I would do! I would have probably killed myself long ago after I had been diagnosed!