I knew (1) things were going too good. I’d read there were nine reasons to break off your wedding.
In my case, it really had nothing to do with the fact that when I woke up on my wedding day, there it was - (2) a barrage of pouring, pelting rain. Everyone knows rain is bad luck on your wedding day, despite the jewelry companies who run a contest to promising to pick up the cost of your wedding rings if more than an inch of accumulated water is registered at the airport. No, it was nothing to do with the weather.
Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that my beloved had (3) hired a French maid. True, my house is nothing short of a yard sale wanting - no - needing to happen. The French maid, however, turned out to be a worse housekeeper than I. So did I have a fleeting moment of doubt wondering why he would hire someone to clean the house when the communication between the two of us (the French maid and I) consisted only of "mais oui"; and "non"? Non. I had no idea to what I was agreeing or not agreeing to.
Nor did I find it unquestionable when he informed me he'd invited his (4) mother and (5) my sister to stay with us—or was it to live with us? No, I just went along in my merry little way, thinking, "Oh, isn't this nice, he wants our families to become better acquainted." And, then I thought, is it normal for a fiancé to (6) not really like my cat? Men don't really like cats, do they? In fact, I think he hates my cat. <>sigh<> Cats could be replaced, right?
Not even that was not enough for me to break off my wedding.
I will admit to a niggling doubt crossing my mind that perhaps. . . just maybe . . . I was (7) unlucky in love. But that was ridiculous. I'm just not the unlucky type.
I must stop wrinkling my forehead when I'm thinking so hard. Wrinkles can form. I couldn’t possibly have broken off my soon-to-be-marriage during a particularly mind-blowing, star-seeing, awe-inspiring, spine-tingling climax the other night when he called out - (8) was it his secretary's name? No, surely not—although I can't seem to recall his secretary's name.
No, I awoke this morning and knew the reason I had to break off my wedding was because...
Because. . .
It was going to be an excruciatingly, horrific, disastrous, hideous, appalling, the most daunting (9) bad hair day ever! I'll be in tears for weeks!
