Cartier Biscuits and the Labia Tiara

Cook measured the flour in expensive gossip. The dough would prove the yeast rise to meet classy scandal. Her dalliance was flavored with Follain's Marmalade with Jameson Irish Whiskey that would ignite a religious scandal in a jam, grand spread with lesbian polygamy as rich as a 24 carat gold clit clip from Tiffany and Co. Ten diamonds wrapped around each lip, the flour was beginning to show through the white paste on the Cartier family jewels. The treasure trove was kept in the kitchen in a hidden drawer disguised as a pull-out butcher block cutting board molded into the Lazy Susan, that etymology taken from a revolving server rotating tray; she can be seen, but not heard, nor can she hear, she simply minds her business and carries out your orders in a jiffy. To Hell with spice racks! The Christian Science Monitor called it "self-serving." Every lesbian in the baby-boomer generation was hungry for this collection. Who would have guessed the Cartier Biscuits were given as doggie treats at the backdoor and the bobby pin pre-dates the Labia Tiara, that puts the squeeze on an expression of affection, vanity decoration with three greyhounds mounted on each other in diamonds?

Copyright Ms. Sage Sweetwater, Celebrity firebrand lesbian novelist