Wanting to be happy, wanting to be glad, but what I have learned that is good, living does not mean you have to be sad. Wanting to be happy, wanting to be glad, wanting to be good, does not mean you have to stay sad.
As I drive on the road of rain and sorrow, life has processed beyond tomorrow. I feel so sad and yet I am glad that I have lived today and will live tomorrow. Life has been what I have made it, sad and happy, but I am still here. I have found the road very tiring, sometimes sad, and sometimes happy. I am now on my second month of not living a normal life. Sleeping on a couch feeling sad and depressed at the same time sensing sorrow deep from within. It is hard to express how life has turned and now to be without your loved one.
Life has become as complicated as the ride to work on a rainy day. The roads are slippery, the traffic is heavy, people are in a hurry, people are cautious, some care, some do not care that the roads are slippery or that they are wet. The sounds are different, the feelings are depressing, but overall the roads are a mess. You can stay within the speed limit or you can stray if you will, but one thing for sure, you can never stand still.
Some cars have lights, some do not, some know where they are going and some do not care. To find oneself among the mist is like finding where your life has been, unless you are missed you cannot be found. You go up, you go down, someplace it rains, someplace it doesn't, but one thing for sure, you never know what tomorrow is going to be like. As you go up a hill or down a hill, the windshield wipers try to clear the way, but that does not mean that you can see where you are going or where you have been. You can pass going up a hill, but you can never stand still. Therefore, you do what you have to, in order not to keep moving.
I have found this year to be a struggle life has changed and burst my bubble. My father passed away and that made it difficult, my life is a mess and yet I tried so hard. Nevertheless, I will go on even though I feel sad, because life is here and I am glad. What tomorrow will bring is hard to say, but one thing I know, I will not live in sin. I feel depressed and some times glad, maybe some day it will end and I would no longer be sad.
Wanting to be happy, wanting to be glad, but what I have learned that is good, living does not mean you have to be sad. Wanting to be happy, wanting to be glad, wanting to be good, does not mean you have to stay sad. Life goes on without much fan fare, but you have learned to live within yourself and act as if you care.
As I drive day after day, week after week, I have found one thing that life does not repeat. The cars are different the trucks are different, what is even stranger I am also different. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I seem to have a problem and I do not know what to do. I want to be happy, I do not want to be sad, but no matter how I end up, it is grueling to live with out you. Some day maybe it will end and then the struggle will end.
Day after day, I look far away the only problem is what I see I am what I am and that is me. When will it all end? Then it would not matter, but my life is just what I made it, with the sorrow and the sadness and sometimes with gladness. The sadness might sound the same as gladness, but the difference comes like a sign from within. What will tomorrow bring? Is it here today? Was it yesterday? If it wasn't today, will it be tomorrow? What tomorrow is will also be today. I sometimes struggle with today, I sometimes struggled with yesterday and I will sometimes struggle with tomorrow too. All that says is that I will struggle every day, until a brighter tomorrow.
What the answers are I cannot tell. All I know that sometimes I fell like hell. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am sad, sometimes I wish I could just be glad. I wake up in the morning as I went to sleep at night, wondering what the future has in sight. The struggle goes on in small but serious ways. Maybe it will end someday and it will not matter, because we all have one thing in common. We live while we can and we will die when we have to. Who controls these events? That is a question we should know before we wake, but while we are awake, the destiny to make it work today and tomorrow is what yesterday was all about.
Could it be that life is a struggle from within? Could it be that today's tomorrows are tomorrow's future?
THE END OR IS IT ALREADY TOMORROW?
A book of nature inspired poems and essays, written from the heart and soul of a life-long nature, animal, and wilderness lover, and dedicated to today’s children - Earth's only hope for a better tomorrow.
This book won 'The Poetry Category'
As I drive on the road of rain and sorrow, life has processed beyond tomorrow. I feel so sad and yet I am glad that I have lived today and will live tomorrow. Life has been what I have made it, sad and happy, but I am still here. I have found the road very tiring, sometimes sad, and sometimes happy. I am now on my second month of not living a normal life. Sleeping on a couch feeling sad and depressed at the same time sensing sorrow deep from within. It is hard to express how life has turned and now to be without your loved one.
