This is the greatest book of advice that you will ever read. I can solve all of your problems and not with all of that psycho bable that the fancy book learned doctors use but in plain english that any poor can understand.
Excerpt
Dear Advice Guy: At work there is a woman who constantly complains. I love my job but can’t stand to be around this one woman because she constantly brings everyone down. She complains about how fat she is, how she doesn’t think she is attractive, how she’s stuck in a bad marriage, how she probably won’t live past 40, how her son won’t live past 18 because he has substance abuse problems. The boss won’t fire her so what should I do?
So you don’t like the complainer, well what do you think you are doing right now? You’re complaining to me that’s what. Anyway, here’s what you do, agree with her. It’s that simple. When she says that she is fat say, “You got that right.” When she says she isn’t attractive say, “What did you expect? You’re fat. Fat people are ugly.” It is my belief that they should be made to walk around with bags over their heads that way us beautiful people don’t have to look at them because it could be contagious. Why else do you think obesity is such a big problem in this country? We started off skinny but then a few fat people infected the rest of us and it spread like the plague. If she says anything about not living to see 40 ask her if that’s a promise. If she does die then that would be good for you and your coworkers. No wonder her son is so screwed up and throwing his life away, he wants to get away from her. If she wants her marriage to be better tell her maybe if she did a sit-up every once in a while and lost a few pounds her husband might be willing to try and pleasure her ually instead of just feeding her cheese cake. You know it’s hard enough for a man to find a woman’s G-spot but if she is as fat as I think she is you’ll need an entire search team to try and find it. If none of this works you may have to help her along to not living to see 40 if you know what I mean. You could always try to poison the Twinkies that she keeps cramming down her gullet. If that doesn’t work, you can always sneak up behind her and stab her right in the jugular with a pen or another sharp object. The only thing you will have to be careful and mindful of is the fact that her neck fat might hinder your ability to administer a deathblow.
