Kindle Edition
Amazon
Amazon
Category:
Relationships
Publisher: Kathy Marvel
ISBN-10: 0982115411
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 71
Copyright: Nov. 23. 2013
ISBN-13: 9780982115411
Price: $2.99 (eBook)
Each chapter begins with a walk through various situations and anecdotes in which women feel the need to gripe about their husbands, all relating to the chapter topic. Each chapter ends with putting things into perspective and reminding the reader of the big picture and what really matters.
The Seven Year Bitch and A Little Perspective was written with women in mind, especially women that have been married long enough to have made it past “The Seven Year Itch” although men are welcome to join us in our journey through griping. It may give them a little insight - it might even make them laugh – just a little. It is meant to give women a bit of validation in the tiny irritations that they may feel from day to day while spending a whole lot of time under the same roof with the same man in the same routine. It gets daunting; we all know it – for the husbands, too. How do we make it past that famous seven-year mark? How do we get past all of the little stuff and focus more on the big picture. How do we put all of that little stuff into perspective? This book is meant to do just that. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you think. More than anything, it will make you celebrate in the life you live with the husband that you adore. It is my hope to show both husbands and wives a renewed appreciation of each other.
Excerpt
When you first get married, it seems as if men hang on every word that comes from your lips. Cherish this time. It won’t last forever. Eventual hearing loss is inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before it is greatly diminished. There will come a day, having asked your husband to do you a small favor – whether it was to pick up dry cleaning, get a box down from the attic, or throw a load of clothes in the washer – you will hear some version of this: “You never asked me to do that.” You might have told your husband of plans that you’d made, only to hear, “You never told me about this,” when the event is about to occur. It will come on rather unexpectedly, and you may be inclined to ignore it at first – but soon, you will finally concur that yes, hearing loss has begun.
Other statements that may indicate that hearing loss has begun:
1. “When did you tell me that?”
2. “Why didn’t you tell be about this sooner?”
3. “I don’t remember hearing that.”
4. “I don’t know anything about this.”
5. “Huh?”
Ask yourself these questions to determine the cause for the hearing loss:
1. Were you speaking to your husband during any sort of televised sporting event, commercial, or commentary?
2. Was your husband doing anything other than listening to you at the time of your conversation?
3. Were you making eye contact with your husband when speaking to him?
If the above statements seem to have been a problem area, you will need to learn more effective ways to communicate with your husband now that hearing loss has in fact begun. The following steps will aid in slowing down this syndrome.
1. Turn the television off during future conversations with your husband (although I don’t advise doing so during any of the above mentioned sports viewing).
2. Make requests of your husband if and only if he is not focused on anything else. (Multi-tasking further impairs hearing)
3. Look directly into your husband’s eyes when attempting of any sort of
communication.
Think back to when you brought your first-born child home. Did your husband hear every breath that tiny baby took as well as every noise that came from that baby’s body. For the first few weeks, your husband was the lightest sleeper in the world. He heard everything in regards to that baby – even if the above-mentioned hearing loss had already begun to take place. He was suddenly “the daddy” and had a baby to take care of. He was up with you several times each night, bolted out of bed to rock that baby or bring him or her to you for a feeding, and even changed diapers in the dead of night with absolutely no coaxing from you what-so-ever. Then suddenly, it stopped. Why did it stop? Hearing loss?
The answer is this: Your husband woke up with you and participated in being “the daddy” during the night. But like him, you were just as interested in being “the mommy” as he was in being “the daddy.” Sometimes, women take over and the men don’t end up feeling like they are needed. We have a hard time just letting them do it – that’s right – with no help from us. We always help or end up doing it for them. Why would they or should they get up from a warm cozy bed and try when within moments they know that we will take over. We are really good at making them feel like they can’t do it or aren’t good enough at whatever it may be. No wonder they get to the point of not even hearing the baby anymore. They don’t need to – we’ve got it covered!
Next time: Let him do it! Whatever it is – let your husband do it! It won’t be done exactly like you do it but the outcome will be the same. It will get done. The advantage is that they feel needed, useful, and an equal in this thing called parenting. Go on – give it a try!
A Little Perspective Goes A Long Way
Yes, our husbands may have become a bit lax in the use of their listening skills. They may not listen as intently, sports may have become a bit of an inhibitor, the thought of multi-tasking may not be as evident to them, and they may in fact seem to have lost some hearing.
But…think about all of the things that they do hear.
Did he hear you sniffling in bed late at night when you couldn’t sleep because you’d suffered a loss, gotten hurt feelings, or even when you’d had a bad dream? Did he roll towards you and pull you near him to comfort you all because he heard a tiny sniffle?
Did he hear the screeching tires of an oncoming car and swerve to move out of the way? Did he maintain the safety of his family all because he heard what you didn’t?
Can he choose the best fishing spot just based on listening to hear where the fish are jumping?
Can he hear that water leak – even with the dryer going, the T.V. on, and the kids running around wildly? Did he save your possessions from destruction because he was the one who heard it?
Do tears run down his cheeks because he hears his son crying and doesn’t know how to make the hurt go away?
Did he hear you when you were in the bathroom in the middle of the night, sick with the flu and did he slip up behind you and hold back your hair as you hovered over the toilet in pain? Did he wrap you in a blanket, carry you back to bed, and gently “spoon” you in an attempt to warm you further upon hearing your teeth chattering wildly?
Does he hear the tiny rumble of the garage door opening every time you come home and thus, rush out to help you with kids, bags, backpacks, etc.
Remember what he does hear when you’re tempted to gripe about what he doesn’t hear. Remember that men and women listen and hear differently – keep that in mind.
Remember that he wants to do it – let him!
Remember that you love him and he loves you.
When all else fails – call your girlfriends!
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