Novel Problems is a sci-fi comedy about a book that causes its author unexpected difficulties.
How can one book cause so much trouble?
The problems start when the author uses confidential information to write a novel about alien spies.
The book falls into the hands of an ambitious admiral who mistakes it for a real document. Hoping to earn a quick promotion to the Pentagon, he launches a manhunt for the aliens, with the author as his prime suspect.
The truth is out there somewhere, but neither of these characters is likely to find it! The author's friends must help him clear his name, while the admiral's inept minions try to put him away for good. All unaware that real aliens are watching the situation and deciding the fate of humanity!
Excerpt
The US Government protects its secrets like a manic squirrel guarding its nuts. This was something that Jake Andersen failed to consider when, desperate to write a best-selling novel, he borrowed one of those secrets.
It was midnight in late January when he made his mistake. Jake was alone in his cubicle, one of dozens filling a room dedicated to Northwood Shipbuilding’s IT department. Pursing his lips, he leaned back in his chair and scowled at his laptop. His dark brown eyes normally glowed with the shy intensity of a dreamer intent on bringing those dreams to life, but now they showed only annoyance.
The glow from his laptop’s screen and the monitor on his desk barely lit the gray fabric of his cubicle’s walls in the gloom. If it had been daytime, when the room hummed with quiet conversation and the chatter of keyboards, then the cinder-block walls would have appeared a dirty tan color under the fluorescent overhead lights. But they were invisible at night, as the room purposefully had no windows, both for reasons of security and to prevent the IT employees from succumbing to outside distractions. Working there was much like being the last passenger on a bus at night, alone, isolated from the world, and absent all sense of time.
Jake shrugged and zipped up his hoodie. He blew on his hands and rubbed them together to warm them before resuming typing. Northwood turned off the overhead lights and set back the thermostats in their buildings to fifty-six degrees at night in an effort to conserve energy. Located at the mouth of the Menominee River, where it passed through the town of Marinette before flowing into the western edge of Lake Michigan, the Northwood facility bore the brunt of the lake’s winter fury as it lashed the Wisconsin shoreline. In January, the subzero wind coming off the lake chilled the outer walls to such an extent that the condensation on the cinder blocks occasionally froze.
He popped a handful of Cheese Puffs into his mouth, grinding them into an orange powder as the salty cheese flavor burst on his palate, then washing the slush down with a saccharine-spice slug of Dr. Pepper. The crunch of his snack resonated in the empty office, carrying further than one would have expected, almost as if the lingering scent of overworked staff and overheated electronics was helping it on its way.
Jake reread what he had just written on his laptop, and then he deleted it. Complete garbage. Not the way to start the Great American Novel; better suited for an entry in the Stormy Night contest. But he knew what the problem was.
I need a plot.
Professional Reviews
Humourous sci-fi!
Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2020
"Novel Problems" by George Morrison is a humourous sci-fi with alien beings, relatable characters, and a hint of romance. Vivid descriptions and attention to details within scenes brings this tale to life.
Jake is a secret novelist. Rejection after rejection has dimmed his zest for writing, but he still attempts to write the next great sci-fi novel. He sits behind his government-issued desk and dreams up stories for his characters. His faithful friend, Felipe, is his sounding board. With their mischievous book-hurrying dog, Chaucer, they live a quiet life of geeky bachelors.
Together, they proofread Jake's recent novel, which is based largely in information gleaned from Jake's government job. The plot incorporates somewhat secret touch-points, but Jake shrugs it off as simply being part of a fictional story.
When Jake's young niece, Daphne, discovers his latest novel, she decides to surprise him by sending it to a local publishing agent. This is when Jake's trouble begins, and he could only wish his manuscript had stayed buried.
Claire, a hardworking literary agent, receives the manuscript and is intrigued by the realistic premise and correlation to local government. After her initial research, she sends the manuscript out for further fact-checking, Little did she know that the sci-fi tale about aliens from outer space would reach an actual inter-planetary visitor! What was once pure fiction is regarded as a true documentary of government secrets.
The network of aliens is human-like and powerful. Their reaction to being, as they believe, discovered, is paranoia. With good reason.
Soon, Jake, Claire, and even little Daphne, are embroiled in a government conspiracy that goes beyond country, beyond Earth.
This book is a fun jaunt through a world that could be, and is highly relatable.
Fun way to spend a few hours...
Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2020
This book was fun to read. Plus, I loved the way it exposes the Patriot Act for what it is- a runaround of the Constitution!
The characters are well developed and realistic, for the most part. But, most of of all, it was just a great adventure.
Funny Book of a Series of Unfortunate Events
A funny book where a series of unfortunate events leads to a completely wrong situation for some innocent people and some funny results.
A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes.
Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over.
Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets
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