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Dork Dick
Category:
Crime
Publisher: Street Saint
Type: Fiction
Pages: 300
Copyright: Jan 1 1999
The number one crime problem of the 21st century is computer crime. Classic crime fighting techniques of the past are useless. Enter Dork Dick, a Bill Gates look-alike who figures that it takes a computer geek to catch a computer geek. The trouble is that, being a geek and a dork, he is, ahem, very complex. A hilarious yet sad story of a troubled soul that will leave you forever changed.
Dork Dick, a 40-something girlfriend-less loser who once tried to compete against Bill Gates (whom he calls Big Bill) and was totally broken financially and mentally, now lives with his weird radical feminist "madre" on a farm in Washington State, where he hides out in a computer lab with a leaky roof and rows of computer gear beneath a duck pond. His favorite duck having been killed by gangbangers, he lives on his shoulder
now, invisibly, as Duck Dick, the two of them holding constant conversations; it's a matter of opinion which of the duo has the more brains. With a vivid imagination, he imagines himself a computer criminal, and then scans the Net for signs that their scams would leave, finally turning them into the feds for reward money. He fantasizes himself a James Bond, but in actual fact real dicks won't have anything to do with him, nor will real chicks. Every time a computer dork is jailed, Dork Dick fantasizes that it is actually Big Bill, while at the same time resigned to the latter's untouchability. Loosely plotted, this is a true classic roman that gets into the psyche of a tortured soul and explores the human condition. By the end one will come to the conlusion that DD is actually Bill Gates himself, or his alter ego, or what he would have become if he couldn't have been on top. Only Jim Carrey could pull this double-triple acting feat off in a movie, so hold the popcorn.
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