Amazon
Category:
Humor
Publisher: Lorraine Geiger
ISBN-10: 1519495293
Pages: 104
Copyright: 2016
ISBN-13: 9781519495297
Price: $1.99 (eBook)
A book to tickle your funny bone
On a trip from Florida to their northern summer home, a mother emails her grown children at the halfway point. Unfortunately, two potentially serious incidences have occurred along the way, and so as not to alarm the kids, she decides to recount the occurrences in a lighthearted tone. In subsequent emails, Mom keeps her children informed on Dad’s blundering, but amusing fiascoes in equally comical accounts. In her frequent emails, Mom adds some humorous (and some serious) poetry to help keep the kids focused on something other than just their father’s calamities. “I really believe,” she says, “that Dad has a guardian angel sitting on his shoulder. I wonder whether that angel realizes that he has saved Dad from more fiery situations here on earth, than he could ever encounter in that other place.” The stories in this book are based on actual events that have taken place in the lives of the Geiger family.
Excerpt
Hey there Kids.
They say that rats always leave a ship just before it sinks. But, I guess we’re not sunk yet because here in our still-in-progress Pennsylvania house, they are coming in, in droves. So far, this fall, I’ve caught six baby rats (weaned, and into peanut butter crackers) and probably another five or six mice in the motor coach. No adults so far. Although, that could be a bad sign, anyway. The babies just don’t know enough to get out. Dad has been climbing the hill here behind the summerhouse daily to release our captured crew and is building leg muscle slowly. Life has been hectic in the last few months, but in a way, it has calmed down a little, as well.
Today, Dad is out of town (which is pretty hard to do here in the woods). So it was up to me to get the little rat to the upper forty. (We are on the catch-and-release program here.) All the way “over the hill and through the woods” I was thinking of those bear droppings we had found outside our back door last week. My imagination took over halfway to the release area, and I started devising escape plans. I figured any bear could climb a tree faster than I could, so that was out. I couldn’t yell loud enough for a neighbor to hear me, and I wouldn’t fit in a woodchuck hole. Finally, I came upon a plan that could work.. I would point the trap door of the mouse box toward the big ole bear and scoot the little sucker out. I figured that, if a humongous elephant would go bonkers over a little mouse, than certainly, a bear, a tenth an elephant’s size, would run from a rat.
Now, the thought of bears in our woods never bothers Dad. And, by now, I would think that these bears know of Dad’s reputation. I can imagine the bears sitting around the cave fire right now, telling their cubs stories about this unpredictable, dangerous human they sometimes see roaming the woods with a chainsaw.
Little do they know what a pussycat he is when it comes to “catch and release”.
|
