Amazon BooksAMillion.Com Books-A-Million, 149th Street and Route #45, Orland Park, Illinois 60462 Category:  Humor Publisher: XLIBRIS ISBN-10:  0738842826 Type: Fiction Pages: 100 Copyright: Dec 1 2000 WR Mertens writes a psychologically funny, humourous and sometimes sad look at life's moments in the lives of an anonymous patient and his therapist! In the style of the satirist Erma Bombeck, WR Mertens follows the life beginning at age 16 through adulthood of a gentleman who is completely nameless in this book, who goes to see his therapist about the many problems he has in his life and what he should do about all of his really strange and weird relatives and friends that he has to deal with. He takes a look back at his life living behind a taxicab business owned by his parents while growning up under the thumb of an old crone who is his landlady who has a son who is constantly drunk and throws fits by tossing her appliances out the window on every binder he has. His aunt is akin to a religious Adolph Hitler with society matron snob tendencies and is married to a Whimp. His grandmother is in the throws of altzheimers and prefers to wear Chef Boyardee as attractively as a Raggedy Anne doll during a visit from her parish priest. He has neighbors who run down their own family pets and think nothing of it. They also dance naked in second floor windows for the other neighbors. Other neighbors have parent sanctioned "girlie" parties with the parents in attendence during a visit from a lap dancer. This and so much more go on in the life of this man. Read on to find out more about his dysfunctional family and friends.  Excerpt "W.R. Mertens writes a very funny book about life. I just wish I could have read it years ago." - E. Claessens, Chicago, IL "Funny but sad at the same time - A great outlook on life." - E. Kallay, NW Indiana "If you need a good laugh, check this book out, it's definately worth it!" - H. O'Connor - Chicago, IL

DON'T CALL ME A CAB! CALL ME A THERAPIST! by Various Reviewers (July 17, 2005)
This is a narrative spoken by a man who doesn't give his name. The book opens with a look at his bumpy exiistence as a youth. The book doesn't really try to be balanced. It's rather unapologetically negative and complaining in this section. His young life seems to be missing peace and harmony, while at the same time, is not awful or abusive. It just seems to be onbe of the many "shadows" - the author's word for stopping points in life--that the author wishes us to examine. While there are no truly evil characters, the narrator finds his world to be lacking "common sense."
Lack of common sense is a phrase the author uses repeatedly so we know ithas special significance. he seems to want us to ask, "Wjy do people behave like this?" For instance, he asks, why didn't adults in his life as him and his brother who they would like to adopt them instead of trying to determine without the boys' input who would be best for them.
Again, the purpose of the story is to cause the reader to reflect on the "shadows." The author wants us to probe the banal and almost senseless occurrences of life. As the narrator himself expresses it, when you find yourself on the outside, it "gives you a brand new chance at looking at the inmates that run the asylum." The book is also meant to simply be amusing and it succeeds as this.
The book' s weakness is that it jumps a little too much. For instance, right after the close examination of the characters in childhood (his family and the people involved in the family cab business), it skips to a section on an adult experience in Ohio, that loses a lot of its humor and seems to complain too much. Some of the books "jumpiness," however seems to be very much on purpose--to keep you guessing and questioning why these particular rememberances have been chosen for our review. Other positive things about the book are that the voice of the narrator and the actual things he says are believable and amusing and depicted clearly so we will not be forgetting them soon. There is genuineness in the writing that willl stay with the reader.
The author includes a chapter on churches he's belonged to. It gives you the impression that the narrator is floating from one experience to another without finding any of them very meaningful. And yet yet he seems to find all of it amusing and most of life, benign.
I recommend this book to those who could appreciate its somewhat carefree structure and sarcastic tone. Those who know what it's like to grow up in a world with people who "don't use common sense." A lotof younger readers, particularly teenagers who are going through "trying times" themselves, would appreciate the book's "real-life" language and attitude. It is an interesting novel because it delves into what is real and true in a person's life becoming somewhat of a diary, an encounter with the mishaps of everyday life. CARI AMELSE

It seems that the author wanted to prove that he should not be judged by his upbringing, but by what he grew up to be. I think that the author achieves this point throughout the book, by giving a brief insight to his childhood and then showing how he leads a successful life in spite of not being too fond of his upbringing.
It also seems to show what hardships he had to endure during his adulthood as well.
While all together a quick read, the story packs a lot of information. In the beginning, the author tells is of how he grew up with his brother behind the family taxi cab service. After the loss of his father and the mental loss of his mother, he and his brother were turned out of their own. The story then continues, when the main character is older and married and now, being independant of his family, moves to Cincinnati, Ohio, where the pair meet many people who were ashamed to hold anything less than the title of Vice President. This type of atmosphere seemed to amaze the autor with their lack of common sense. This attributes to the two not fitting into the community. Soon the author and his wife move back to Illinois in the hope of escaping the lunacy that they had found in Ohio. Not long afterward, a search for a church seemed to be in order for the author and his wife, due in part to the fact that their movinghad led them away from the only church that they had been truly able to follow. The search turned out to be a long and hard one due to the mixed variety of church beliefs and characters who ended up deterring the two from many of their possible choices. The last chapter has to do with the a job held by the author while still in school. During the span of this job,the author was put through a number of hardships due to the frequent switching of bosses, that he encountered. This also takes a turn for the worse when the seventh boss decides to lay him off which, although seems bad at first, but actually turns out better in the authors eyes. In the end, I would recommend this book if you are looking for a biography, action, mystery and fiction all rolled together. While this is one of the few self-narrations that I have read, I would recommend that this book for anyone who enjoys and can relate to it. - JOE POST

The book is the life story of a person (assumed to be W.R. Mertens) who grew up surrounded by "loons." The story is told in a casual way, and the introduction says that it was suggested by the author's therapist to write this story, as atheraputic way of dealing with the events in his life. The separate chapters in the book cover the author's childhood, his move to Cincinnati, his experience with churches, and his dealings with his job while he was in college (in that order, but it is out of order chronologically). Though not following any formal plot, the story is fairly straightforward, talking about whatever events in his life that the author wishes to talk about.
But why would he write such a story?
Is the story even true?
In the introduction, conclusion,a nd dedication, the story is told to be nonfiction, that all the events are true and that the book is autobiographical. This is easy to believe because the entire story is told as if it is a true story. On the other hand there is a disclaimer in the front of the book" "This is a work of fiction." This is also easy to beleive because the book pushes your suspension of disbelief: "Can a man really know so many weird people?" "Is anyone really that picky about what church they go to?" "Can someone go through that many eccentric employers in such a small period of time?"
The answer to all of those could be yes, but it seems unlikely. So to solve the matter, I cheated: I typed the publishers address into Google and it turns out the book is fiction (and highly praised...) So I can safely assume now that (instead of for therapy) the purpose of writing the book was merely to entertain, and to perhaps give people a different perspective on life and other people. The author achieved his goal for I was entertained (I thought it was funny, and it was just real enough to keep me wondering...) and I did leave with a different perspective on things (if only by a little).
The book has its weak points and strong points. the book is funny and sometimes sad, and it seems real enough, but it doesn't really have a plot, and though you can connect with the main character, you never reallyget to know the main character. Also, at a certain point I realized that the entire book was just a series of lists based on themes (neighbors, churches, bosses, etc.). Also the book is not a full-length novel (it comes across as short), but I am not complaining, there's nothing wrong with a short novel. In general the book was enjoyable, though I wonder if I would have still liked it as much as if i had know it was fiction for sure when i started reading it (who knows).
I give the book a thumbs up. It is not an Oprah Book Club Winner, but who really wants to be an Oprah Book Club Winner? Oprah sets her standards too high. The book stands by itself and is an entertaining, if flawed, story. I enjoyed the novel and would highly recommend it. Even though, no one dies violently, so you really can't compete with Tom Clancy, but Clancy is also long winded and boring, something that this novel is not. This is a great read. - ALEX FALLS